Happy New Year...!!

Happy New Year to you all!! Remember life is short - break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly. love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile! x

Santa saved by Fire engine!!

Santa arrived at his grotto in Wyvale Garden Centre, Dummer in style for his Christmas visit, in a 1970’s fire engine!

Relish People used their business contacts to help out when the original planned transport developed a problem. With the help of Sam Owens of The Studio based in Alton, a fire engine was found. The fire engine, supplied and driven by local man, Den Osman of The Fire Service Preservation Group, provided an excellent alternative.

Every year, Wyvale have a Santa’s Grotto and this year Naomi House, the local children’s hospice helped organise Santa’s visit and his Elf helpers. Just under half of the £5 to see Santa raised goes to the hospice and each child can expect a chance to ask Santa for what they want, and to get choice of some great toys!

Santa can be found at Wyvale Garden Centre Dummer every Saturday 10am- 4pm and every Sunday 11am – 3pm right up to Sunday 23rd!

For more information on Naomi House Children’s Hospice check out the website on www.naomihouse.org.uk.

Mary Queen of Shops

Wendy and I were asked by the BBC to take part in a show "Mary Queen of Shops" ( atelevision show where Mary is to struggling retail fashion shops, what Gordon Ramsey is to restaurants) and so yesterday we were filming at Wendy's house. Wendy is the real star out of the 2 of us, as she is just a natural in front of the camera and the mike (as her radio appearances on BBC Radio Berkshire, LBC, Delta FM and County Sound attest).

I however, am less comfortable with it - so was a little mortified when they decided that the clothes I had been given (which I hated) were going to be used as the "before and after" example!! I have very simple tastes, and clothes are made to be worn and forgotton, whilst looking ultra smart. I was put into a leopard print vest top thing, with an over jacket which was just hideous. The trousers had no shape to them at all and I was just swamped and felt completely fat (although I am not slim, with the right clothes on, I do at least feel like a woman)and ugly -yeowch.

I was redressed, and whilst I was not completely comfortable with the new outfit (partly because it was not my size and partly, because once again the shirt was just too fussy) I did at least feel a little more like myself!

It was actually very interesting to hear Mary's views on how Wendy, myself and a lady called Sue had been dressed, as she was very astute. She said that the clothes chosen by this particular boutique lady "deconstructed" our figures (and if I may so, our personalities), and that the message she got from us, was that we may be larger ladies, but we still want to flatter what we have and be true to our preferences rather than all be dressed the same...

Personally, I would rather not buy new clothes if they did not a) feel good b) looked good) and c) made me feel like I could concentrate on being me, rather than what I wore.

Reflecting on yesterday, the lesson for me was very much about recognising that each of us is very different, and that one size most definitely does not fit all!

General Update

Well, I have been so busy, since I got back from Germany, I have been so busy, that I have barely had any time to myself!!

Since I got back, I have been working closely with one of our newest clients, I have been on 3 training courses, along with balancing emails, phone calls, and personal responsibilities and that does not include the fun, social stuff!

It reminds me that with the festive season looming, that being busy is something that in previous years, I have just assumed I would need to manage, which has even resulted in me being stressed.

Of course that needn't have been the case. Had I given a little more thought to what really needed to be done, I could have got through many of the previous holidays with some sense of sanity still remaining! I believe we can sometimes to be our own worst enemy when it comes to the to-do list.

If you are anything like me, it just seems to grow and yet, sometimes, when I have something else that is far more important than anything on the list, I find when I go back, most of it was never that important anyway!!

I am just going through my to do list for the beginning of October, and it is really great to notice, that either someone else has got on with it, or it is no longer important - how liberating!!

For tips on how to minimise your to do list - give me a call now on 01252 783 524
In the meantime, I have a deadline to write our newest edition to our portfolio of courses - all about managing the Christmas Festivities, running on the 5th DEcember in Basingstoke.....

Road Traffic Pricing

For those of you who have read some of my earlier blogs, my car is very important to me...and for those of you who are like minded, you will understand my ambivalent feelings towards the suggestions around Road Traffic Pricing.

I watched Dispatches on the television, where they investigated the hostility of the public to the various ways motorists are being targetted to raise funds, supposedly to improve public transport.

I have long had a problem with speed cameras on dual carriageways and motorways (which lets face it, tend to be reasonably straight and invariably pedestrian free), and I am stunned at how much we pay for fuel compared to other countries, and struggle with the whole proposals for additional charges, be it road traffic pricing or the charge per mile/timie being explored by insurance companies. Let me explain why.

During the 70's and 80's there was a trend of encouraging people to move to 'new towns' in rural areas, because of cheaper housing and to ease the population within inner cities. Then there was a whole move to encourage businesses into these rural areas by the lure of cheaper rents. Which then led to what we now see as out of town shopping centres and superstores, again encouraged by the cheaper sites.

Each of us began to flock to these areas (and lets be honest), driven by the savings we could make, as much as enjoying the experience we could get (modern, easy etc)

However, the infrastructure for these new towns, business and retail outlets, has never really developed at the same pace (lack of investment in the past, I guess) and it has resulted in the car becoming an essential part of living, working and shopping where we do.

It seems to me, that car drivers are being taxed in every way possible in order to supposedly pay for the improvements to the infrastructure.

I say supposedly, because the programme demonstrated that actually only a small percentage goes back into the transport system - interesting isn't it?

Even more interesting, and almost worryingly, is the fact that as there is such a backlash to the road traffic pricing, the Government has decided to 'encourage' local authorities to introduce their own versions of congestion charging or similar, in return for the funding they need for their infrastructure.

What this now means, is that each authority who introduces some sort of charging mechanism in their towns, will be just pacing the way for a national pricing scheme. This will then make it much easier for the Government to just 'adopt' a common strategy being employed up and down the country! Easy eh?

I have always known that money is the way Governments change our behaviour, and I guess that shows how fickle we really are.It's just hard to believe that 2007 we are still susceptible to being manipulated to do something, even when we are unhappy about it.

As someone who always seeks to understand another's point of view, I know that whilst road traffic pricing is one option - it is just that, one option.

What if we were to do nothing? Let traffic build up, allow us to sit in traffic jams, to become frustrated with the road system because guess what? We will suddenly find ourselves resolving our own problems of being caught up in traffic. We will begin to find different times to do our journeys, we will seek to use public transport more, we may even find ourselves being even more imaginative with the ways we lead our lives - who knows someone may even come up with a really good idea, something the British are fantastic at!

Do let me know your thoughts on this....what other ways could we manage congestion?

Business Breakfasts - Working on Business Solutions

Relish are really pleased to have been asked to work in partnership with the new breakfast business meeting alton4business in Alton.

The first event "Working on your Business, not in it - the Challenges of the Small Business" was a great success.

Nearly 20 people turned up and there was quite a buzz in the room. Once breakfast was over, the group was divided into small teams and were given some questions to answer and discuss, in particular what they could do to work more on their business.

Feedback so far has been very positive including "it really made me think", "it was very informative" and "I think you are on to a real winner with meetings like this and I will be recommending businesses to start to come along!"

The next one I will be hosting will be 24th October and will be on Business Planning for 2008! These events are a great way of supporting other businesses, whilst raising our profile in the business world.

Pause for Thought

For me, one of the great things about running events like this is that you always learn something new. I find no matter how many times you run an event, something new will always present itself!

So I am looking forward to the next event ...with Relish!

BMW and Nurburgring Race Track Experience!

AWESOME!!!

That is how I would describe my recent trip out to Germany, courtesy of Vine's BMW in Guildford!

There were about 50 of us (mostly men unsurprisingly) and we flew from Farnborough airport on a specially chartered plane and from the moment we arrived the hospitality was impressive - plenty of attention, drinks and food!

After a short flight to Koln airport we transferred to our hotel directly overlooking the Nurburgring and once we had settled into our rooms, we made our way to the bar.

The first evening was made up of presentations, a fantastic evening meal, and the opportunity to see another unveiling of the M3, after which, we went back to the bar to finish the evening! By this time, I had made a number of new friends (Ian, on the left above - was my co pilot in the car, Andrew, - a very funny man, Gary, next to Ian above - brilliant at keeping me organised, Steve and Sam - real whizzes on the facts & figures of the old and new M3's, Adrian - our US friend, and Dave and Colin - a couple of 'Likely Lads'! They all made my experience what it was - memorable.

I finally went to bed about 1pm local time, as we had to be up, breakfasted, and ready for action at 8am!

...and this is where the adventure really began.

We were split into teams with 2 people to each car (instructors drove the red cars). The track was divided up into sections so that we experienced different elements of driving such as driving through a slalom of cones, experiencing the ability of how the M3 can react in the event of emergency obstacles in the road (the most scary for me), chicane handling and competitive cornering, before ending off with race track experience!

The first thing we did as a team was the slalom of cones - which was a real challenge! We had to drive at speed through pairs of cones that had been set at different distances from each other, some of which really put the car through it's paces, including tight cornering. It was very challenging, and for me I was doing this whilst learning how to drive a left had car, and a BMW to boot! At one point, I managed to slide off the track onto the grass, and it took some moments to regain control! I have to say it was the most thrilling experience I have ever had - and was disappointed that just as I was getting the hang of it, we had to move on!

By the end of the day, we finally got to do the one thing all of us were really looking forward to doing - drive around the track at speed. This was not the full track, just about a mile and a half of it, and all the same it was fab! I was even more lucky as my co-driver had had to go off somewhere, so I got extra driving in, much to the other guys disgust!

It really was one of the most thrilling experiences of my life and one I would love to do again - thank you Vine's BMW!

Pause for Thought

I like to think about my experiences in terms of the lessons we can learn in life - and for me, this experience was no different.

You can see in one of the photos, that the weather was really poor - it rained buckets all day. As I mentioned, I lost control of the car on a bend and went sliding off onto the grass (my co-driver Ian seemed to think it was great - and was very level headed, telling me what to do). Whilst I believe that I didn't panic, it was a moment that made me think - I really had no idea how to correct the car! Fortunately, being a race track, and through the careful planning of the instructors, I was in no danger - however, back at home, it is another story...

For a long time, I have known that I have a tendency to drive too fast, and yet the experiences on the race track made me recognise my limitations - that if I lost control of a car I would not necessarily know what to do and if I did, would I react quickly enough? It's food for thought.

Interestingly, one of the guys (Andrew) on my team, runs a company that provides the university degree of driving tests for young people to encourage safer and more responsible driving. I was very impressed with what they are aiming to achieve - and believe that this maybe the way to go - check them out!

Dinner with Davina!

Last week I wrote about going to a charity summar ball in aid of the Touching Tiny Lives campaign - what I hadn't realised was, I was supporting another event for the same thing!

On Friday, Wendy and I had booked to go along to the Dinner with Davina in Southampton and apart from the problem with parking, as a result of the Boat Show (plan to get there next year!), we had a brilliant time!

We were on a table of about 10 other ladies, and we got chatting to them all. One of the ladies on our table, had her daughter with her and she had been chosen to present a bouguet to Davina after the lunch and auctions (more about that soon!) her mum was telling us that she had been born at 26 weeks in Spain, and through the work of action medical research, she had survived and grown into this beautiful, healthy young woman!

The lunch was fab (well done the De Vere!), and once that was over, the auctions and raffle took place. After my experience last week, I decided that I would still keep a budget for my auctioning, but this time I had increased it a bit, as I bid for the opportunity to go out on a power speed boat experience! I nearly got it at £300, however, just as the auctioneer was going to say 'gone to the lady over here', someone upped it!! Fortunately, it was still within my budget and so I kept going - however, once again it went above what I had set myself.....b*gger!

Still, they raised lots of money for the charity, which is the main thing.

As we got up to leave, we were lucky enough to get a picture with Davina who was absolutely fab!

Oh and just as a footnote, we had an advert in the programme, which as a result, we have asked to become involved next year - you bet!!

Psycademy Spritual Development Events

For those closest to me, you will already know that I have always been interested in spiritual matters. Having lost a mum when I was very young, who was very interested in such things, I have long held an interest in having my cards read or my 'fortune' told.

Last year, my health was making life difficult, and having started practising the work that I now preach, I found myself drawn to Psycademy, run by a fabulous lady called Lisa Turner! Having met her and been inspired by her, I instantly knew that I needed to know more about this side of life.

For the past 10 years, since my divorce, I have been 'sorting' myself out, looking for something and having addressed much of the mental turmoil, and some of the emotional stuff from that time, my physical and spiritual wellbeing needing addressing. ( I am a Libran, and having balance in our lives is something we constantly strive for!)

I had a 'Breakthrough' session with Lisa in January regarding weight, poor health and sudden energy losses that just left me exhausted in front of the tele at a weekend. This 'Breakthrough' session turned out to be a real turning point for me - I signed up for her Spiritual and Psychic practitioner course and I have not looked back!!

For those of you who are pooh poohing all this as nonsense, I completely understand, I too would have said the same, even a few years ago, however, there are some really valuable practices, that we as human beings seem to have lost in our evolutionary journey.

One of the biggest benefits I have picked up (and let me tell you there are many), I have found that meditating on a regular basis has added a sense of calm to my life, that I honestly have not experienced before. Taking time out to focus on you, the real you, the internal you, is one of the best habits you can learn. Even if it is just for 5 minutes a day, this small amount of time where you focus on say your breathing, an image, or just daydream and allowing your mind to just switch off for a few minutes, is incredibly powerful.

The one thing that clearly drew me to Lisa is her practical and pragmatic approach to spiritual way of being - she uses her previous life as a technical engineer to explain how it works, her no- nonsense approach weaves in key elements of NLP (responsiblity, cause and effect & perception is projection) to demonstrate how we create much of what we experience.

So when Lisa said she was going to run development evenings to build upon what we already knew, plus extras - I did not hesitate. After one of these evenings, I always feel on a bit of a high and this week was no different! I have had a busy few weeks, as you can see from the earlier entries to my blog, and I was feeling quite weary - however, after being at this event - I became fully awake and alert! Woohoo!!

I would highly recommend some time with Lisa if this is something you are interested in!

Relish partner with new networking group!

Wendy and I are really excited!

We have teamed up with a new business club in Alton and once a month, we will be leading one of their meetings!

a4b (alton4business) is a new business breakfast club, all about building better businesses! The team leading this new group (Andy Manning, David Woodroofe, David Baker, Paul Susans and Rob McCusker) are all seasoned networkers, and were really keen to create something more local and focused on helping businesses grow!

The launch meeting on the 19th September, was well attended by over 16 people, many of whom, expressed an interest in joining the group.

After taking time for networking and breakfast, Andy Manning, the group leader, stood up to explain how this group proposed to differentiate itself from other networking groups, by providing a variety of interesting speakers, business growth sessions (run by Relish People), and activities to stimulate, encourage and develop those who come along!

For the last part of the session, the tables were divided into 3, to allow each person to introduce him or herself to the rest of the table, and to encourage more discussion.

The meeting closed at 9am prompt, and it was great to see so many remain behind and continue to network and talk!

A real success!

I am really excited about the opportunity to show how Relish People can help businesses, and the first session I will run on the 3rd October is about 'Working on your Business or In it? - The Challenges facing small businesses'.

Get yourself along in order to find out how this group can help your business, or better still get in touch with Relish People and see what we can do to help!

Institute of Directors (IOD) Evening

Wendy and I joined the IOD earlier this year, so that we could begin to network in London and we went to our first members evening this week.

The first part of the meeting was a presentation on Marketing, given by one of the trainers on the director certificate/diplomas. It contained some useful information, which confirmed some of the things that we were doing, and highlighted others we might need to review!

Afterwards, we had a great opportunity to network, and with our usual goodnatured spirit and 'go get 'em' approach we met some really good people.

Wendy met someone whose business is just about to move to Fleet, not far from our offices in Farnham, and she expressed an interest in what we do, so we have arranged to meet her once she has moved.

I, in the meantime, met a couple of 'cheeky Essex boys' who work in the city, and after debating the merits of coaching vs NLP, we talked more about where we lived (one of whom lives in Wivenhoe, near my brother!), what we were doing there, and our interests, including some sporty stuff (and obviously NOT my pending visit to the Nurberbring!! :)).

We also got a chance to question the IOD staff more about the benefits of the organisation, and for us, the key is most definitely the networking. One of team was from Reading, and as this is not too far from us, we are going to have a look around their premises and see what they can offer!

How beneficial joining the IOD will be for Relish People, is too early to tell, however, (and I have said this before), it is not necessarily about the people you meet buying your products and services, it is the people they know, and we are hoping that this organisation will get us known in the wider business community!

Watch this space!

Touching Tiny Lives Charity Ball

I went along to a charity ball in aid of the Touching Tiny Lives last Saturday night at Heythrop Park.

It was the first event of many planned that will be dedicated to a charity the first on being the Touching tiny Lives, part of Action International.

It was very well organised, and the food was great. Along with the usual raffles and dancing, there was a charity auction and I am getting a taste for them! If you read my blog about about the Sparks charity event earlier this year, you will know that I got a little carried away last time.

However, this time I had gone with a budget in mind and when the 2 tickets to Goodwood Festival of Speed next year came up (an event I have been meaning to go to for sometime), I decided to bid for them! As I got to my limit, I hesitated a moment too long and they went for £50 more than my budget! Clearly the best thing for my pocket!

What was the lesson in this for me?

That being aware of and setting boundaries for yourself is good way to manage yourself. Knowing what you will and won't put up with; how far you will or won't go; what you will or won't tolerate.

For me, boundaries around money is something I need to work on. I tend to spend it whilst I have it, and then 'reign in' when I notice it disappearing rather rapidly! I have a faily easy relationship with money, sharing it easily with those closest to me, or to those causes that I have decided to support - what I need to learn, is that I have a limited amount of resources and I need to be sensible about how I use them!

Besides that? I am already looking forward to it already!

The Police at Twickenham!

Wendy is 40 this year (just in case you have not heard!) and I suggested that as this was a significant birthday (aren't they all?), that we should do something every month to celebrate!

So far this year we have been for lunch at the famous Langhans in London, we have been on a bat walk near Barnes in London, we have been to the Henley Regatta (my choice - woohoo!), and now to see Sting in concert (also my choice...)

I have always a Police fan, and more recently,a Sting fan as his solo work is very close to my R & B, soul and jazz preferences in music. Fortunately for me, Wendy likes Sting too - so that was it, I got the tickets!

We travelled up to Twickenham with a couple of friends of ours (Claire in the picture works with us and she is great!), who drove us to Virginia Water railway station so that we did not have to cope with the chaos of Twickenham.

The concert was fantastic, and the group were on stage for about 2 hours, and with the exception of about 3 songs, played all their hits! Listening to the crowd sing along was brilliant, and for those of you who are regular concert goers - you understand how moving an experience this can be!

The Twickenham stadium itself, enhanced the magical feel of the show, that just made me want it to last all night! When we got there it was still daylight, but as dusk came on, they put on the floodlights which made it seem like it was daylight - however, the real transformation took place as they turned these off and lit up the softer, orange glowing lights - this is where the magic really began for me!

Up until this point the crowd had been amusing themselves with the traditional Mexican wave that can sometimes take its time to reverberate all around the stadium as block by block, people picked up its cue to join in. There were cheers as it moved around and with each new group who joined in....and jeers when it did not - how incredible that potentially just a small number of people can influence so many others? (possibly up to 55,000 others!)?? Extraordinary...

Anyway, the show was fabulous, and whilst we have yet to meet Sting (on our list to do!), we were very impressed with his performance, along with Stuart & Andy.

Once the concert was over, it was not the end of our adventure!

I had been thinking to myself I was really hungry, and as we started walking out, they were giving away free pies, which we munched on our way back to the station.

And this is where the evening took an unexpected turn. We were following Keith, Claire's husband and with him and the crowds we got onto the train that pulled in, only to find that it wasn't going to Virginia Water!!

We had to get off at the next station - Strawberry Hill- and wait half an hour to go back to Twickenham to start again! As with all expereinces, there is always a reason for something, and we met some others who did the same thing and we spent much of the time laughing and joking and generally having a good time. Meeting new people and talking like this, is all part of 'life's rich tapestry' as they say!

I finally got home about 2.30am in the morning - exhilarated, happy and content...and ready for sleep!!

Launch of new BMW and Stunning New Premises at Vines of Guildford

I went along with my friend Karen, to the Vines BMW showroom in Guildford on Friday night (7th September).

The event was about showing off, (what turned out to be) the stunning new premises and the launch of their latest model!

I went along because I love cars, particularly German ones, and again it is always a good opportunity to meet new people ...and as it turned out, I met quite a few!!

We spent the evening looking at the cars on display and talking to lots of people.

The BMW staff were all helping out on the night, and those I spoke with were very friendly and attentive serving drinks and canapes.

I got speaking to one of them, a lady called Cathy Hartley, and I was very impressed by what she had to say! She was talking about how everyone working there was really friendly and that some of the staff had been there for years - which is surely a testament to the management team at Vines!!

I can only speak from experience myself, but this seems to be something that the majority of companies would love to achieve!

I spoke with Mark Hollands (the Dealer Principle, and above in the photo with Karen), about what Cathy had said, and he reinforced the team spirit that existed. (Interestingly, he also had a major say in the way the new showroom was designed - clearly a man of taste too!)

I remember some years back someone told me a story about a CEO in charge of a large corporate and when asked who he looked after most - his shareholders or his clients, he replied 'Niether. I look after my staff. If I look after my staff they will look after my clients, and if my clients are looked after, they will make sure my shareholders are happy'. This has always stuck with me (I am afraid I cannot attribute this, as I didn't catch the name of the CEO), a philosophy Mark seems to believe too.

For the ultimate customer buying experience, and follow up customer care, I think the team at Vines in Guildford would be hard to beat!

After that Karen and I wandered around the show room, identified the car I would like at some point in the future (that's me and Karen sitting in it!)before hearing Mark announce the prize draw. As we became very quiet and waited for him to make the announcement - I was stunned to find out it was me!!! How fab was that?!

I won 2 days in Germany at the Nurburgring driving the thrilling new BMW M3 Coupe (much to the envy of a number of my friends)!!

I was still in a state of shock when I spoke with Sara Moule (who drives the car I am after)and Ashley Andrew (Regional Sales & Marketing Manager & National Sales Manager respectively), as they told me what to expect.!

A great evening methinks!!

Helping new author to launch his book!

We know a really lovely guy called Tom Evans who has written a book called 100 years of Ermintrude, one family, 3 lives, 99 stanzas.

It is a lovely book which is inspiring, moving and poignant....to find out more check out the website

We work with Tom on the Guildford Ecademy events, and he is truly an inspirational chap, and even more creative than me, in that he is constanly overflowing with ideas! He is currently helping other authors who have 'writers block' so that they can be creative once more. As we are writing a book, he is a very useful chap to know!

Anyway, we decided he needed to be signing his books, so here you can see us with Tom, as he signs copies for us, and for those people we decide to give it to as a gift.

If you would like a signed copy of this book, we have a handful that we can give away, just contact us on 01252 783524 or email us at enquire@relishpeople.co.uk - once they are gone they are gone!!

We are now looking forward to when our book is print...I feel a social event coming on!!

Kim

Speed Networking with Women in Business Group!

Wendy and I do a lot of networking - it is a great way to advertise our brand, and keep the name in the forefront of people's minds!

We went along to our first 'speed networking' event with the Women in Business Group at Dummer golf club and there were about 30 women in all.

As well as being able to meet lots of new people, we were also able to have a go at having one shot of a golf ball for a raffle prize. It was as much as we could do to hit the ball (I had forgotton how difficult it could be - my one experience in a driving range resulted in me hitting the ball backwards as the club swung back!! Everyone in the driving shed had to duck very quickly, as the ball rebounded back and forth around the shed!!)

It was a very upbeat and energising event - although it was difficult to hear what was being said all the time, due to the noise level, as you can imagine with that many people talking! We met some lovely people, and there were at least 2 or 3 people we will be following up with, as we hope there is a potential for future business!

Once the networking was over, we sat with a couple of other ladies and chatted about all sorts of non business topics, which caused us much laughter!

These events can sometimes seem quite daunting, and yet there is always something to be gained or learnt from them. Be prepared for these events to be a long term strategy, the aim is to make long lasting relationships and know that each person you meet knows at least 20 other people, who are the people you are really after.

Fun in the Sun!

I can't believe where the week has gone! Or how the weather keeps changing!

This time last week, Wendy and I were at a polo game, which was a first for us both.

We were invited by one of our friends, a lovely lady called Katherine Seal of Seal Events who was sponsoring the event. She also provided lovely food through her other company Limefooddesign.co.uk.

We met up with another of our good friend's Kelly Stevens of the thewomensnetworkingcompany.co.uk. and Wendy and I had no idea what to expect.

I was pleasantly surprised that the game was very entertaining, particularly when the horses came thundering past within feet of where we were sitting. The rules completely escaped me, however, one of the players told me that it was similar to the rules of the road, and involved hitting the ball down the line on the right...so that helped!

I was driving on the day, so I was not drinking, which meant Wendy could! Bless her by the end of the day, the sun had got to her, as she was feeling slightly wobbly and by the time she got home, distinctly unwell! AW alright, she had a little too much to drink! However, she is always good for a laugh,even when sober just more so, when a little inebriated!! As you can see from these pictures, we all had a fantastic time! Although whether Wendys' head realised that once she got home......

If you ever need catering for a corporate or social event or want to organise a corporate event, then Katherine is the person to contact.

And if you are in business for yourself and want a great networking group - check out the womensnetworkingcompany, as Kelly keeps the meetings lively by inviting interesting guest speakers!

As regards the polo day - I think it is well worth going along and just giving it a go! I had made it part of my personal goals to attend all the social events in the summer, and this is just another tick in the box!!

Bank Holiday Weekend in the sun!

Hello again!

I regularly update my blog with some of the things that Wendy and I get up to and this weekend we have had a fabulous time!

Wendy, for those of you who do not know, is a Reiki Master, and one of the groups she belongs to decided that they would have a stall at the Thai Festival Weekend, which was being held in the Secretts Garden centre in Milford, Surrey, and was organised by The Mudita Trust Charity, raising finance to help educate girls from some of the poorest areas. It also coincided with the 80th birthday of King Bhumibol, the King of Thailand, so yellow was a bit of a theme!

I have to be honest, on the first day, when we arrived, neither Wendy or I held out much hope of it being very busy - and how wrong we were!! It was packed solid all weekend! Apparently they expected over 50,000 visitors - that's how wrong!

Everyone was in really good spirits and very friendly. There were numerous stalls, a very large number selling Thai food (which just made our mouths water, although niether of us indulged, as result of a bit of a health drive at the moment!). There was a stage, where different Thai dancing, martial arts etc were performed and I have to say the costumes were dazzling!

The stand we were on, was organised by Jill Roberton and Diane Betts, who gathered together a group of therapists offering neck and shoulder massage, reiki, infinite balance and hand reflexogy.

We both worked on the Saturday morning and the Monday afternoon, and it was only when we got home we realised how tired we were - and some of the girls (and lad!) had been there the whole weekend, they must have been exhausted! It is not so much that we were physically running around, but for anyone who has been on an exhibition stand - constantly talking and smiling with strangers,takes it out of you.

Still, Wendy and I know that things like this are a great way to network and get your business known to even more people, and as we were allowed to put out our brochures, it made it even more worthwhile. I know Wendy managed to hand her business card out to at least 2 people!

Well worth helping out and a great time was had by all!! And I would highly recommend watching out for the next one!

Netwalking - The highs and lows!

Last week Wendy and I went on a country walk in Guildford with a crowd of people.

Wendy and I are members of an online community called Ecademy, and one of the groups led by Tom Evans and Jenny Littlejohn, run a networking meeting with a difference!! A Netwalk!

The idea is that you walk and talk and build relationships whilst you do so. It is a great way to get out and about, exercise, meet new people and old friends.

We met in a country pub near Shere, and walked through the Surrey Hills for about an hour and a half and although is was raining, everyone had a great time!

As I had just returned from holiday, Wendy and I managed to talk the whole time (no change there then!) and to catch up on everything that had been going on.

Unfortunately, I did not take in too much of the scenery as I was too busy watching my feet to make sure that I did not fall over (one broken foot is enough for anyone!) which was a bit of a shame as the Surrey Hills are beautiful.

By the time we got back to the pub, we were soaked through. Most of us had hair stuck to our heads, very muddy boots and trousers soaked up past our knee caps, however, Wendy seemed to come off worse.

Her trousers were ruined, they were not only very wet, but they were also ripped, as she had caught them on a branch on the way round, so when it came to going home, she decided that she would take them off and drive home in her underwear!

We joked briefly about what she would do if she was stopped on the way home and she said it was unlikely.....However, about 5 minutes into the journey, I get a call from Wendy. "You'll never guess what?" she said. "what" I replied. "My petrol light has come on and I might have to stop to fill up!" It was so funny, I could barely see where I was driving for the tears of laughter!!

Anyway, I followed her back as far as Farnham, after which she assured me she would make it home - thank goodness!

The moral of the tale? Make sure when you are going on a walk, dress appropriately and make sure you have a spare set of clothes in the car!!

Kids with Confidence & Motivation!

Wendy and I were really fortunate to be asked to run a workshop on Confidence and Motivation for youngsters between the ages of 12 and 16, recently - and boy did we learn lots!

Hart Development Centre are running a pilot project called "The Get With it Project" which has been set up to get youngsters off the street and to do something interesting over the summer holidays. In particular, it is aimed at combating antisocial behaviour in a positive way by providing activities such as sports tournaments, ceramic painting, health and beauty and team building games.

We had already run one workshop last year for a group of people who had been long term unemployed and obviously, we have kept in touch, as it is a great way to do something worthwhile with the skills and talents that we have, so when Wendy and Cheryl discussed this, it seemed like a great idea!

And it was! I was a little concerned over the age range (12 year old boys and 16 year old girls - big difference in what would keep them interested, as we found out!), however, we managed to choose some great exercises that meant that everybody in the room could get something from - we did a creative exercise, a physical one, one that tested the "little grey cells" and one where everyone had an opportunity to participate - a panel of "experts" taken from the group who were there to answer questions, and let me say now that some of the questions were very though provoking - such as why adults demand respect, and don't always show it?

The feedback we got was tremendous, in that Cheryl said that she was impressed how they all became engaged and how they concentrated for so long.

So what did we learn from that day - as they were as much our 'teachers' as we were theirs? Well that treating these young people like adults, tends to encourage them to behave like one. That they were still very open to puzzles like the 9 dot exercise and solved it much faster than some adults, who naturally over time become more fixed in their way of looking at the world. That anyone with the responsibility of keeping 30+ youngsters entertained needs a medal - it was exhausting!

Fab!

Confidence - Up Yours!

We had one of our Life Design evenings in Guildford last night - in conjunction with Ecademy - and what a turnout! Over 30 people in a room created quite a buzz I can tell you!

The topic this quarter was confidence, so we looked at the meaning of confidence, how it affects us and what we can do to help ourselves! The group were fantastic and came up with some great stuff and really threw themselves into the various exercises.

As always, once the session was finished, many stayed on to continue chatting to each other, and we finally finished by 10pm! Phew!

We were lucky to have the whole event filmed by Pete Hansford of Brevity Productions and we are now waiting for the edited version so that we can put it on our website - so if you have ever wondered what goes on at these evenings, check out online!

What a week that was!

Well things are ramping up here at Relish HQ!

I have been very busy with our PR & marketing, publishing articles on various websites, following up with press releases on activities that we have gotten involved with and I believe we are starting to see the results!

We have been asked back by the team at Ladies First on County Sound 1566mw and our next appearance is on the 6th August - listen out for us then!

We were called by the Farnham Herald and interviewed about the business and Wendy got her name in the August edition of Psychologies magazine.

In addition to this, we have revamped the Community Events into Life Design Evenings which are going to be bite sized courses on the key life topics that we can cover!

Already our Guildford event is a sell out, and we had fantastic feedback from our Berkshire event - Come on Basingstoke! We have one next week and only 2 people booked on it!

We have a number of other things in the pipeline and it is all very exciting, our real difficulty is making sure that we keep the day to day stuff ticking over!

Of course when faced with all this, the best thing is to ride that wave, and pace yourself - I am learning!

Check our our website to see some of the changes that are taking place!

www.relishpeople.co.uk

LBC & Sparks Charity Event

As some of you know, Wendy does a guest spot on the Jim Davis show at LBC every 6 weeks or so, as their Life Design Expert.

Jim is one of the committee members for Sparks, The children's Medical Research Charity and asked whether we would be interested in going along - it was held at the Guildhall in London, a fantastic place, although for us non city dwellers, a bit of a challenge to get to!

We set out in good time, and yet the map let us down somewhere around Bloomsbury Square, so we abandoned the car in favour of a taxi, as we were running late, and had already missed the champagne and canapes!

We arrived at the same time as Bobby Davro and friend, and found ourselves right near the front, on the table with other committee members Natalie Pinkham (Channel 4's Adrenalin Rush presenter) and Giles Vickers-Jones (presenter of ITV at the Movies for ITV1 and ITV 2) with Robert Powell (the actor)the charity's President on the next table - so we did really well!

There was a fashion show and live auction, at which one of the prizes was to appear on This Morning. Fortunately for the Relish bank balance, not only was my bid exceeded, but Wendy wasn't paying any attention! The amount raised that evening was in excess of £50,000, which was fab!

It was all over by 10.30pm, and Wendy and I then set off in search of the car, and to make our way home. However, by this time, I was hungry again (always the same when I have a late night!) and I think we stopped at every Macdonald's on the way home in search of something quick and easy to eat - and no joy! We ended up outside Fleet Station buying a kebab to have once we got to Wendy's...and boy was it great!

I finally got home at 3am, exhausted, but having had a really good evening!

Wound up and ready to go!!

As you may have by now gathered, I have recently had my plaster removed - Woohoo!!

How fantastic is that? I am now free to go out and get in my car and drive!

And yet, my time spent at home has been quite an interesting one!

I only moved into my current home last October, and even before the contracts were signed, I already knew that my longer term plans meant I would not be there for very long, just until youngest daughter has finished her schooling, so all being well, within the next couple of years.

It made me think about how many times I have moved over the years. Always for some seemingly valid reason - a bigger home, an older place, a place in the country, one in the town etc etc. And actually when I really thought about it, underpining all these moves is a restlessness that I was, until recently, completely unaware of - I was unhappy where I was and was always striving to the future, where everything would be alright.

Wow! I knew that I have always had great plans for the future, where I was going, what I wanted and how I was going to do it (roughly), what I hadn't realised though was I was not living in the 'now'. I was not appreciating what I had at this very moment, as what I had planned was always better! And of course until it happens it is not real, is it?

Of course, living 'now', is much easier said than done, when you have spent a lifetime (or so it feels) looking to the future, but by just bringing your awareness onto what we are doing now....right now, apparantly is a really good start!

What if you don't like where you are? Then at least you are now more aware of what 'it' is doing to you, and if the 'pain' is enough, guess what? You will do something! And if it is just uncomfortable, then you are not ready - your choice, your responsibility.

For me, moving was a way to feel like I was progressing, moving towards to the future I believed would be happier and yet, what I was doing was ignoring the fact I was unhappy.

So watch out! If you are constantly changing jobs, relationships or homes like me, you maybe avoiding something! Call us to arrange a one:one session to see what might be your issue!

Music be the food of....

I recently was invited along to my local pub to listen to a band play - the Q-Tones.

I love live music, particularly if it is my favourite stuff such as R & B, soul, funk and jazz.

I have to say this band was extremely good (and well worth going to see!) as they played music to suit all tastes, country, rock n roll, funk, chart etc.

It got me to thinking, music is something that many of us enjoy and our associations with periods in our lives, events or people can be be very strong. Just hearing a piece of music, can literally transform our mood, or take us back instantly - how powerful is that? We all have one record that immediately remind us of a past love, or one that we played over and over again, when we broke up with someone.

I know for me, when I am feeling upbeat, and all is well in the world etc, there is nothing like playing a very loud song in the car and singing at the top of my voice to make me feel alive (I hasten to add, this is only ever when on my own - I am tone deaf, and unlikely to be pleasing to the ear!), or when I am feeling very low, particular songs can make me feel even more sombre, or resonate with my emotions and the way I am feeling to help me work through any difficulties.

I have long threatened to make a couple of CD's for myself, that would put together all those anthems that make me want to celebrate being alive, and use these when I am feeling right up there on top of the world, or just to play when I feeling a little like being cheered up. And then a CD that will reflect that I am going through a difficult patch, and listen to the words of songs, that just sum up where I am, and allow me to just be.....

Let me know what songs inspire you and make you want to just sing along, as it would be great to see what the most popular ones are!

I have a number of songs, and yet sometimes, some of the old ones are the best "We are the champions" by Queen, "New York, New York" Frank Sinatra (that's a great one at the end of a fab evening out on the town isn't it!) and "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.

It is possible to change your mood with music - make sure you have your own compilation to give you that little lift, just when you need it!

I am confident...aren't I?

I have just had my plaster removed - Woohoo!!

How fantastic is that? I am now free to go out and get in my car and drive!

And yet...I am nervous about driving, when my foot still feels like it has 'gone to sleep' - you know that sensation you get when you have been sat on your leg/foot for a while and when you get up, you can barely feel anything!

Of course, this is just about confidence, a small attack of doubt about my abilities to get into the car and operate said foot easily - I just need to give it a few hours to get used to being 'free' and I will be away.

It reminded me though - confidence? Where does a lack of self confidence come from? And how can you build self confidence?

Firstly, I need to be clear here - self confidence is not the same as self esteem - self esteem is what you believe about yourself and is internal, whereas for me confidence is more about behavioural reaction to external events and is more a sub set of self esteem.

So when I was asked to speak at Networking South recently on the subject of Confidence Drainers and the talk I gave was primarily about adopting some strategies to overcome confidence drainers, and my experience, albeit short, is typical of someone who normally has bags of confidence, suddenly being not so sure!

When I sat down to think about what I was going to say, I decided to tell a story, which would show how much of our confidence is formed during our early years, from those who were influential in our upbringing and our own experiences, that whilst on the whole most of us are fortunate enough to feel confident in at least one area of our lives, we are all susceptible to the odd pangs of 'can I do this?'

The Story is obviously exaggerated to get across a message, although I am sure that it maybe true for some people, and yet it seeks to demonstrate where low and poor self confidence can originate.

The Relish message is all about taking responsibility for ourselves when things make us unhappy, or something seems very hard to achieve.

For a couple of strategies to handle a lack of confidence, or for NLP, hypnosis and life coaching for personal development and for the all round happiness factor in general please take a look at our website
Please read on for the story....


Tom is a 54 year old married man with grown up children and he is a supervisor in an engineering company.

Until today, he has considered his life to be reasonably satisfying, he has a loving wife, his 3 grown up children are now themselves living their own successful lives, and he has always been fortunate with work, earning a reasonable income - until today.

Today, he has been called into see the boss and he already senses something is wrong. As he walks in he can see that his boss' face is looking fixed and somewhat grim. He is keen to remain calm and takes a seat, himself putting on a fixed look.

"Tom, I am really sorry to have to tell you this" says his boss, Tom doesn't hear the rest, the word redundancy was enough. He is already thinking ahead "what will I say to my wife? How am I going to get another job at my age?" How am I going to pay the mortgage?" " I am not sure what I am going to do? I am not surprised they chose me at my age."

As he gets up to leave, his life has just been turned upside down, and he doesn't known what to do. ....a coffee and cigarette is just what he needs, so he wanders down to the coffee machine.

As he sips his hot instant coffee and takes a drag from his cigarette,(prior to the new no smoking regulations of course!) he begins to think about how he came to this point. His whole life has been with this company and whilst he knows that this is unusual these days, he also knows he has much more to offer an employer. How different his life has turned out, compared to the boyhood dreams he had all those years ago.

So what did happen to Tom? It all started at the moment he was born.

Cast your mind back if you will, to 1953. Tom is just a few hours old. As a young infant, he has no expectations, no understanding of what is expected of him, no idea of what is right or wrong, good or bad. All he knows is how to respond to his bodies needs of sleep, hunger, warmth and dryness.

As he becomes a toddler, he is now running around and doing what all little children do - he explores his surroundings. And his parents begin to tell him "You've fallen over, you clumsy thing" "Careful Tom, you will break that" "Tom you naughty boy..." and Tom took it on.

Tom starts school, and finds that he is teased for his red hair and is called various names such as "carrot top", as he works his way through school the teachers also comment on who he is "he is good at maths and science, but could do better" "Tom will never get on, if he doesn't make an effort" and Tom took it on.

Tom eventually starts his first job as an apprentice engineer. Not only is he learning a new job, he is suddenly learning what it is to be an adult, earning money and being responsible for himself. This is a tough time for any youngster and Tom is no different. His role as an apprentice is a tough one and it comes as no surprise to him, when he is told " how careless" he is when he makes a mistake, "what do you think you are doing?" when he works on his initiative. And Tom took it on.

Throughout his life, Tom has had people passing comments and judgement on what he does, how well he does it and on who he is. Some were meant in a caring way, and yet Tom doesn't know this. Tom only hears the criticism and how he is not good enough.

This has eaten away at his confidence and to avoid hearing it he has learnt to stay within his comfort zones and only do what he knows he is good at. As a result, he has not made the progress he wanted to and his confidence in his own abilities has been affected.

So Tom is now faced with redundancy....we are each, masters of our own destiny, and whilst redundancy is always a knock to our self confidence, it is also a great opportunity for reflection, self development in order to go on and achieve success somewhere else!

Lewis Hamilton & The difference confidence can make

I have just watched Lewis come 1st in the latest Grand Prix in Indianapolis (not sure if that is the correct spelling, but hey ho!) and what a star performer!

I have always been interested in cars and speed, and last week tuned into the Canadian Grand Prix and saw Lewis come first. The reports on this rising star were absolutely fantastic and he is so young!

Interestingly, an interview described him as believing that he has incredible confidence in his abilities. How much difference this can make to your performance! Lewis clearly believes in himself, and his abilities, to drive so close to the wall to gain the edge over the other drivers, shows how much he has.

This is a lesson to us all, the impossible is only impossible in our minds. Confidence in ourselves is an important factor in how well we do and if we truly believe that we can achieve what we want and have the confidence to see it through, then who knows what we are really capable of!

It is incredibly how well he has done in such a short amount of time. Like many others in the UK, I shall be supporting him through the season, along with his team mate fernando Alonso, who contributed to making the race a real nail biter and very interesting!

Well done to both of them!!

Relish Book - Our Approach to Lifes Lessons

Late last year Wendy and I decided we wanted to write a book about the work that we do, and as I am the "creator" and Wendy is the "completer/finisher" we decided I would write it, and she would then check i had included everything, that the grammar was correct etc. We found a publisher who was interested in what we were doing and all that had to happen was for me to start writing......mmmm... there was the rub! I had to make time for it. Well as great believers in the universe at work, I broke my foot and that presented me with an ideal opportunity to get on and write it......and I have!

The book is all about self development.

The majority of people who come along to see us have some sort of issue that has got to a point where they really WANT to change. Invariably the problem they believe they have, is never the real problem, it is just a symptom of the real problem, and the real problem usually turns out to be something to do with the relationship they have with themselves.

Part of our work is recognizing this and helping them to make the changes they need that make a difference. Invariably, any ‘problems’ we are experiencing, any ‘pain’ or any ‘negative emotions’ (all in inverted commas, as these words mean different things to different people) are just a message from our unconscious that we need to make some sort of change – it is just that we are not tuned into it or don't know what to do about it.

Our book, will help peopole do just that – raise awareness of what needs to be addressed, understand what choices we have and then look to take responsibility to make the changes we need to.

In just under 3 weeks, the first draft is in place and I have just over one more week to go through it and make sure that it is ok so that Wendy can do her bit! How fab is that!

I would prefer of course, not to break a limb everytime something big needs to be done, and so part of taking responsibility, I am going to be very good at setting at least a couple of days a month aside to get on and do stuff that will move the business forward!

Time out! Work/Life Balance under Scrutiny!

Well the broken foot is healing nicely, and I am now out of plaster!

Wendy and I are great believers in things happening for a reason, and besides the lesson of allowing others to help out, the accident has also given me time out to think more about how I am living my life.

I have been a workaholic for longer than I care to remember and since meeting Wendy have recognised that I still have had an overwhelming inner drive that occasionally results in ‘burn out’, where I just need some time to myself.

I recall during my corporate days working for a couple of global data/IT companies in Basingstoke & Slough, that most of us felt compelled to work long hours, very often taking work home with us, staying in the office late (9pm was not unheard of and sometimes later!), missing lunchtimes etc and yet there was always more to do.

We each had our own personal motivations for doing this, for some of us it was the satisfaction of a job well done, for others it was the career progression and personal development prospects, for some a fear of their productivity levels, and for others just a desire to avoid letting the side down and each reason was absolutely valid for each person.

What is underlying these motivations?

For me, it was fear. Fear of failure (I had low self esteem and confidence, believing everyone was better than me)and also, knowing that I was the breadwinner of the family, so there was a responsibility to make sure that I was earning well.

Since going out on my own, I have addressed the fear of failure, with a mixture of NLP and hypnosis, which has also meant that I no longer worry so much about the money knowing that it will always work out for me.

So my broken foot was just a great opportunity to take a long, hard look at how I approach my working life now and with some objectivity – to see some of the superficiality of some of the tasks I was doing, recognising the ones I disliked and have actually enjoyed not doing, and the things I love and like and have still managed to do, even from home.

I believe those who work long hours, need to look very closely at what they are striving to achieve. Is it success? Personal growth? Happiness? Money? or maybe it is a fear of something? Avoiding something?

Being aware is the first step in addressing a problem, and one of my recommendations if you are feeling under pressure to work long hours, is to take a long hard look at what is behind it.

We owe it to ourselves to make sure that we are looking after number 1 - us! It is a bit like a bank account, if you always make withdrawals and never pay in, eventually you will go overdrawn. Similarly, if you always invest heavily in your work life and pay scant attention to you, there will be a price to pay!

Remember, no-one is indispensable, so start to be kind to yourself and recognise that whilst work is important, so are you!

Life's Lessons - How a broken foot helped me to ask for help!

At the beginning of May, I had the calamity of falling off my flip flop, whilst washing the car and broke my foot! (The fifth metatarsal to be exact!)

Cleaning the car is clearly a dangerous sport and from now on I will get a big strong man to do it for me!!

Actually, I should point out at this stage, that whilst I slipped off my flip flop, which in itself, I am unabashed about, it was the second part of the manouvre that finally did the damage - falling down an embankment and rolling over on the foot! Me being me, I thought what a muppet, and assumed I had just badly bruised/sprained it, and pretended like nothing much had happened – typical me. I am not good with illness or injury. Just ask my family! My poor ex-husband was nearly at death’s door, when I made him walk into A & E, with pernicious anaema, that had him barely able to breathe, let alone walk! Or the time, daughter had fallen off her mini bike in the front room and hit her shoulder, I put cold water on it, expecting just a bruise and it wasn’t until I picked her up and she let out such a scream, that I took her to the hospital, holding her out like an offering, begging them to stop the noise, and it turned out she had a dislocated shoulder and then there was the time….actually this list could go on and on, I am not the best person to be around in the event of any personal physical ailment!

In my defense, I treat myself the same, my typical remedies of hot or cold water, or failing that taking to your bed for a sleep didn’t seem to work. I was in agony!! I couldn't put hardly weight on it, and even had to buy some shoes that allowed me to still go out and look reasonably decent whilst containing my foot, which looked just like an elephants! Being a martyr to the cause (?! Which one is yet to be clarified!) a month later, I was still suffering. It was only when someone made a comment about my foot still looking bad. I finally admitted that I had better get myself off to hospital.

Now not one to make life simple for myself, I went to Frimley Park near where I work in Farnham, half expecting them to send me home with a flea in my ear. Can you believe it I even had my car washed (inside and out) whilst I was there, how ironic is that!

They were fabulous to me, and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long to have it confirmed I had broken it - No wonder it hurt! It turned out that I was not allowed to drive and that meant a stay at home! (I had to ask them not to plaster it there and then and let me go to Winchester, which is closer to me).

How crap did I feel? I love my freedom and spend a great deal of time in my car travelling around seeing family, friends, etc!

Still 3 weeks later and I have learnt a number of very valuable lessons.

I have rarely asked for help, always dealing with everything life throws at me on my own, making me fiercely independent (hence the reaction to being stuck at home and not being able to drive). I have had to ask for and rely on help in getting backwards and forwards to the hospital, shopping, getting out and about and my friends and work colleagues have been absolutely fantastic. I have always felt unhappy about asking for favours, believing I was putting people out in some way.

During this time, someone said to me that in order for a relationship of any type to thrive there has to be not just giving but ‘taking’ or better still receiving, some sort of reciprocal arrangement. Imagine a bank account, where you only ever took money out to pay your bills, eventually it would go overdrawn and would reach a point where you couldn’t give any more. It needs to have some money coming back in. And so with relationships, in order to be able to give, you do need to receive something back in your emotional, physical, mental or spiritual bank or you end up ‘overdrawn’.

This accident was my way of dealing with being ‘overdrawn’.

Besides, doing things for other people that we love and care about makes us feel good, who am I to deprive them of that feeling!

From now on, I will ask a bit more often and it is a lesson that I will need to continually be reminded of, as changing a habit of a lifetime is not necessarily achieved overnight with help - ah! first reminder of asking for help! I will speak to Wendy and she can do some NLP on me!

So if you are one of life’s givers – beware! In order to continue to do that and maintain healthy relationships, you need to be able to receive too. And if this is something you find hard like me? Then maybe you have something that you believe about yourself that needs changing! Just look at the Relish website for limiting beliefs to see how you can do that easily and painlessly.

Fun, Fun, Fun!

I have just joined an organisation called Thames Valley Spice and my first outing with them was on Sunday and what a fab introduction it was!

It was a dragon boat race in Evesham.

We were split into teams and the Thames Valley group were then split up by postcode and I was with a great bunch of people! So much so, I am expecting to catch up with some of them again soon

I tell you this because one of the things about being a singleton again, is finding yourself a social life. I for one am very fortunate to have a number of friends, and not so fortunate to have them on my doorstep!

Thames Valley Spice is a great way to meet new people in your area and perhaps to indulge in some activities that you wouldn't otherwise do - activities such as sailing, rally car driving - plus activities that you would - dinner shuffles, theatre, ten pin bowling etc.

And for those of you who are not single? Then rest assured, Thames Valley Spice can still be for you, as over 30% of its members are in coupledom. The key with Spice is creating new friends in a social environment.

My next outing with them will be in a couple of weeks time to a dinner shuffle in Reading, and I am already looking forward to it!

Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?

For as long as I can remember I have been late or rushing around at the last moment for all sorts of things. Social occasions, meetings, appointments, booking the car in for a service, sorting out tax and VAT etc. etc

It is so well know amongst friends and family that they automatically build in an extra half an hour to ensure that I arrive on time, which must be incredibly frustrating for them, I have Outlook to remind me of all the things that are due to be done at work, and the family now know that they need to chase me to make sure that things get done – it is a standing joke!

I have always reasoned that the important things in life get done, and the only person who suffers from my tardiness, is me, however, I know that is not strictly true, it is my committment to the task in hand that is at fault!

Naturally there are some things I am on time for – medical appointments where they charge you for not turning up, new clients and the odd occasion where to be late would be very rude, as opposed to fashionably late.

So why do I, and many others like me, live life like this?

Here I look at some of my more typical ‘excuses’ that I have used on a regular basis – see if any of these apply to you!

‘Excuses’ we use to delay starting and finishing tasks!

Personality – it’s the way I am
I love this one! I remember when I was learning to be a Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and discovered that part of my type was to leave making decisions until I absolutely had to – hoorah! It was my personality type, surely that meant it was not my fault! However, at the time I was a Project Manager, and this was not a good sign! It was then pointed out during the course, that whilst we did have a preferential style, many of us had learnt to ‘operate’ in our opposing preference equally well. So that put paid to that – I knew that I could and frequently did meet deadlines, so this could not be the only reason.

Mudane jobs
Of course, there was always the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and therefore, had a fantastic ability to put off those tasks and jobs that I really didn’t enjoy until I really had no choice but to do them. I am sure many of you can identify the tax returns all being done in January! So clearly, I needed an incentive to get tasks done? Well a penalty actually, as most tasks with an incentive would naturally get done – rewards are always a great way to increase motivation! The best way is to get the mundane tasks done as quickly as possible or find someone else to do them!

New or large jobs
These have been known to trip me up from time to time – particularly ones where the whole process of getting them done is new to me such as new technology! We all know the saying “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time”, but what does this mean exactly? When looking at sorting out your finances for example, it is potentially going to take time to gather the information, look around for loans or interest free credit cards etc and it is so easy to put it off, rather than start on it. This is where planning can make a difference.

Thinking and planning time
Some tasks required an element of thinking and planning for how I was going to get them done and I was always too busy working my way through a “To do list” that would have done Tony Blair proud! I found that I barely had time to pause for breath! Several Time Management courses later, I am still prone to making the same mistakes, and yet I know that taking some precious time out to think and plan what has to be done, pays great dividends in terms of being able to get straight on with a task.

Avoidance tactics
This is a personal favourite of mine – finding all the jobs I love to do, to avoid doing the ones that need to be done. Even mundane jobs begin to look attractive. You know what I mean, you read emails you never normally have time for, you ‘tidy up and sort out’ the garage, cupboards, drawers, CD collections, you call that friend you have been meaning to for a while, and all in the name of avoiding the job in hand! Scheduling these tasks in at a time when you are at your best, can mean you get them completely really quickly!

Priorities
How much of what we do is important? I know that many tasks I do during the day, do not always move me in the direction I want to be going ie going to the gym. Like many people, I have taken my health for granted, and then finally decided that actually I really needed to be doing something about it – however, work and family commitments seemed to take up so much time! Of course, what I needed to understand was that without my health, there would be no work and family issues – it was indeed a priority!

These are my personal favourites, and I am sure that you may know of others. The first thing to stop putting things off is to first understand that you are indeed doing it. Then and only then, can you begin to understand what is stopping you and do something about it! Let me know what you do!

Relish People is the UK’s No.1 Life Design business, helping people who are dissatisfied with life, to get more out of it – call us now on 01252 783 524 to find out how we can help you!

How to Have a Positive Day

Friday was a brilliant day for me and mostly because when I woke up I made up mind it was going to be one!

I am reading a number of personal development books at the moment, looking at the different ways you can make changes to your life, fortune, health and attitude (well in order to encourage others coming to Relish to make changes, I must be prepared to do the same, now mustn't I?).

Anyway, I read that one way to ensure that you have a good day, is from the moment you wake up, to start to think positively about the day ahead. Of course we are only human and this is not always easy, we wake up tired, feeling poorly, or maybe we have a difficult meeting/appointment ahead. Howver, the suggestion is that even when these days happen, it is possible to think differently about how the day will evolve.

One book, in particular, I have read called " ask and it will be given", has some superb techniques that enable you to start to become more positive in your outlook and setting the days intent is just one of the fantastic offerings in this book.

Now, for the practical and cycnical amongst you, this book may seem a little too airy fairy for you, however, there are still some excellent tips which can make a difference. and regardless of how they really work, all you need to do is carry out the tasks with a belief that something will come of it. (and if you are one of these types, just read section 2 of the book, whilst remembering that in order for success, you have to wholly believe what you are doing, at an emotional, mental, and physical level)

So when I woke this morning thinking, I have not slept much (caffeine the previous day kept me awake), I immediately changed my thinking to "I know I have not had much sleep, (best not to pretend I felt any differently, so acknowledged it) however, I will be able to go to bed early tonight to make up for it, and today I am going to have a great day and have a successful meeting". Now all I did was to change my thinking about the way I approached the day, and maybe my day was already going to be great, however, my attitude and approach can only have made it more so.

The mind is a very complex thing and yet it can be controlled. In fact we should be aware that we have the power to choose the thoughts we have, which can have such an effect on our lives. However, don't be put off if the results are not as you expect immediately, this requires some effort, you will need to be prepared to become more aware of what you are thinking, and, where appropriate, change it, if it is not serving you well.

So next time you feel your life is getting the better of you, or that events are out of your control, then stop and change the way you are thinking about it - you might be surprised at the results!

Mirror! Mirror! On the wall.....

Life has a funny way of letting you know when you have something to learn....

For the past week I have had a couple of challenging moments, where I experienced extreme frustration with others who had not met their committments, or were not taking responsibility for the woes in their business life, choosing instead to complain.

In the Relish world we are great believers of when things are not going well for you then the first thing you need to do is look more closely at yourself - "how can this be" I hear you ask yourself, "it is not my fault things are not going well...."

Well, some years ago when my eldest daughter was just a toddler, we were away on a camping holiday with a group of friends. This one morning she had been particularly trying, to the point that I had to walk away as I was getting really angry with her.

To cool off, I went to one of the other caravans to have a coffee with a friend. She listened to me patiently, as I moaned and complained about how she was winding me up.

When I had finished my ranting, she looked me in the eye and said "What is it about your daughter that is a mirror of yourself?" I looked at her in disbelief, "what on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Well" she said "sometimes, when we get upset with others, it is because they are exhibiting behaviours that are very much like our own, and which we don't really like". My natural response what to deny it, however, a bit later on, after I had reflected on what she had said, I realised that actually there was an element of truth in it. My daughter had indeed been displaying a behaviour that was very much one I had, and certainly it was one I was not happy with - procrastination!

It had a profound effect on me, and changed the way I behaved as a parent. Clearly the events over the past week, have shown me that it remains as true today as it always has. So clearly, remembering this approach, I have to look in what way I am not committing myself and taking responsibility....watch for future blogs to see what I find out!

For help in identifying why you maybe experiencing difficulties with the relationships in your life, look us up on the web to see how we can help you!