I have just joined an organisation called Thames Valley Spice and my first outing with them was on Sunday and what a fab introduction it was!
It was a dragon boat race in Evesham.
We were split into teams and the Thames Valley group were then split up by postcode and I was with a great bunch of people! So much so, I am expecting to catch up with some of them again soon
I tell you this because one of the things about being a singleton again, is finding yourself a social life. I for one am very fortunate to have a number of friends, and not so fortunate to have them on my doorstep!
Thames Valley Spice is a great way to meet new people in your area and perhaps to indulge in some activities that you wouldn't otherwise do - activities such as sailing, rally car driving - plus activities that you would - dinner shuffles, theatre, ten pin bowling etc.
And for those of you who are not single? Then rest assured, Thames Valley Spice can still be for you, as over 30% of its members are in coupledom. The key with Spice is creating new friends in a social environment.
My next outing with them will be in a couple of weeks time to a dinner shuffle in Reading, and I am already looking forward to it!
Showing posts with label now. Show all posts
Showing posts with label now. Show all posts
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Monday, 14 May 2007
Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?
For as long as I can remember I have been late or rushing around at the last moment for all sorts of things. Social occasions, meetings, appointments, booking the car in for a service, sorting out tax and VAT etc. etc
It is so well know amongst friends and family that they automatically build in an extra half an hour to ensure that I arrive on time, which must be incredibly frustrating for them, I have Outlook to remind me of all the things that are due to be done at work, and the family now know that they need to chase me to make sure that things get done – it is a standing joke!
I have always reasoned that the important things in life get done, and the only person who suffers from my tardiness, is me, however, I know that is not strictly true, it is my committment to the task in hand that is at fault!
Naturally there are some things I am on time for – medical appointments where they charge you for not turning up, new clients and the odd occasion where to be late would be very rude, as opposed to fashionably late.
So why do I, and many others like me, live life like this?
Here I look at some of my more typical ‘excuses’ that I have used on a regular basis – see if any of these apply to you!
‘Excuses’ we use to delay starting and finishing tasks!
Personality – it’s the way I am
I love this one! I remember when I was learning to be a Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and discovered that part of my type was to leave making decisions until I absolutely had to – hoorah! It was my personality type, surely that meant it was not my fault! However, at the time I was a Project Manager, and this was not a good sign! It was then pointed out during the course, that whilst we did have a preferential style, many of us had learnt to ‘operate’ in our opposing preference equally well. So that put paid to that – I knew that I could and frequently did meet deadlines, so this could not be the only reason.
Mudane jobs
Of course, there was always the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and therefore, had a fantastic ability to put off those tasks and jobs that I really didn’t enjoy until I really had no choice but to do them. I am sure many of you can identify the tax returns all being done in January! So clearly, I needed an incentive to get tasks done? Well a penalty actually, as most tasks with an incentive would naturally get done – rewards are always a great way to increase motivation! The best way is to get the mundane tasks done as quickly as possible or find someone else to do them!
New or large jobs
These have been known to trip me up from time to time – particularly ones where the whole process of getting them done is new to me such as new technology! We all know the saying “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time”, but what does this mean exactly? When looking at sorting out your finances for example, it is potentially going to take time to gather the information, look around for loans or interest free credit cards etc and it is so easy to put it off, rather than start on it. This is where planning can make a difference.
Thinking and planning time
Some tasks required an element of thinking and planning for how I was going to get them done and I was always too busy working my way through a “To do list” that would have done Tony Blair proud! I found that I barely had time to pause for breath! Several Time Management courses later, I am still prone to making the same mistakes, and yet I know that taking some precious time out to think and plan what has to be done, pays great dividends in terms of being able to get straight on with a task.
Avoidance tactics
This is a personal favourite of mine – finding all the jobs I love to do, to avoid doing the ones that need to be done. Even mundane jobs begin to look attractive. You know what I mean, you read emails you never normally have time for, you ‘tidy up and sort out’ the garage, cupboards, drawers, CD collections, you call that friend you have been meaning to for a while, and all in the name of avoiding the job in hand! Scheduling these tasks in at a time when you are at your best, can mean you get them completely really quickly!
Priorities
How much of what we do is important? I know that many tasks I do during the day, do not always move me in the direction I want to be going ie going to the gym. Like many people, I have taken my health for granted, and then finally decided that actually I really needed to be doing something about it – however, work and family commitments seemed to take up so much time! Of course, what I needed to understand was that without my health, there would be no work and family issues – it was indeed a priority!
These are my personal favourites, and I am sure that you may know of others. The first thing to stop putting things off is to first understand that you are indeed doing it. Then and only then, can you begin to understand what is stopping you and do something about it! Let me know what you do!
Relish People is the UK’s No.1 Life Design business, helping people who are dissatisfied with life, to get more out of it – call us now on 01252 783 524 to find out how we can help you!
It is so well know amongst friends and family that they automatically build in an extra half an hour to ensure that I arrive on time, which must be incredibly frustrating for them, I have Outlook to remind me of all the things that are due to be done at work, and the family now know that they need to chase me to make sure that things get done – it is a standing joke!
I have always reasoned that the important things in life get done, and the only person who suffers from my tardiness, is me, however, I know that is not strictly true, it is my committment to the task in hand that is at fault!
Naturally there are some things I am on time for – medical appointments where they charge you for not turning up, new clients and the odd occasion where to be late would be very rude, as opposed to fashionably late.
So why do I, and many others like me, live life like this?
Here I look at some of my more typical ‘excuses’ that I have used on a regular basis – see if any of these apply to you!
‘Excuses’ we use to delay starting and finishing tasks!
Personality – it’s the way I am
I love this one! I remember when I was learning to be a Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and discovered that part of my type was to leave making decisions until I absolutely had to – hoorah! It was my personality type, surely that meant it was not my fault! However, at the time I was a Project Manager, and this was not a good sign! It was then pointed out during the course, that whilst we did have a preferential style, many of us had learnt to ‘operate’ in our opposing preference equally well. So that put paid to that – I knew that I could and frequently did meet deadlines, so this could not be the only reason.
Mudane jobs
Of course, there was always the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and therefore, had a fantastic ability to put off those tasks and jobs that I really didn’t enjoy until I really had no choice but to do them. I am sure many of you can identify the tax returns all being done in January! So clearly, I needed an incentive to get tasks done? Well a penalty actually, as most tasks with an incentive would naturally get done – rewards are always a great way to increase motivation! The best way is to get the mundane tasks done as quickly as possible or find someone else to do them!
New or large jobs
These have been known to trip me up from time to time – particularly ones where the whole process of getting them done is new to me such as new technology! We all know the saying “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time”, but what does this mean exactly? When looking at sorting out your finances for example, it is potentially going to take time to gather the information, look around for loans or interest free credit cards etc and it is so easy to put it off, rather than start on it. This is where planning can make a difference.
Thinking and planning time
Some tasks required an element of thinking and planning for how I was going to get them done and I was always too busy working my way through a “To do list” that would have done Tony Blair proud! I found that I barely had time to pause for breath! Several Time Management courses later, I am still prone to making the same mistakes, and yet I know that taking some precious time out to think and plan what has to be done, pays great dividends in terms of being able to get straight on with a task.
Avoidance tactics
This is a personal favourite of mine – finding all the jobs I love to do, to avoid doing the ones that need to be done. Even mundane jobs begin to look attractive. You know what I mean, you read emails you never normally have time for, you ‘tidy up and sort out’ the garage, cupboards, drawers, CD collections, you call that friend you have been meaning to for a while, and all in the name of avoiding the job in hand! Scheduling these tasks in at a time when you are at your best, can mean you get them completely really quickly!
Priorities
How much of what we do is important? I know that many tasks I do during the day, do not always move me in the direction I want to be going ie going to the gym. Like many people, I have taken my health for granted, and then finally decided that actually I really needed to be doing something about it – however, work and family commitments seemed to take up so much time! Of course, what I needed to understand was that without my health, there would be no work and family issues – it was indeed a priority!
These are my personal favourites, and I am sure that you may know of others. The first thing to stop putting things off is to first understand that you are indeed doing it. Then and only then, can you begin to understand what is stopping you and do something about it! Let me know what you do!
Relish People is the UK’s No.1 Life Design business, helping people who are dissatisfied with life, to get more out of it – call us now on 01252 783 524 to find out how we can help you!
Wednesday, 9 May 2007
Day 2 - The Weather matches the Mood!
Yesterday was Day 2 of Wendy's holiday and it has been quite a miserable day today, raining and windy! ...Or has it?
There is a saying that every cloud has a silver lining, or if you are so inclined, every silver lining has a cloud!
How interesting? It seems to suggest that you cannot have one without the other. And if that is the case, unless we are happy to be on a rollercoaster through life, the best way is to accept the 'rough with the smooth' and make the most of what there is now - isn't it?
I once a heard a story on the radio about an old woman who had 2 daughters. One was married to the local umbrella salesman and the other (in the next village) was married to the local ice cream seller.
On hot and sunny days, the old lady had a dilemma - her daughter married to the local ice cream seller would be making lots of money and that was fantastic. "But what about my poor daughter, with no rain she will not be making any money, and she will not have enough to live on!"
On rainy and windy days, the old lady's dilemma was no better. She was really pleased that her daughter would sell numerous umbrellas to provide for her and her family. Then she thought about the other daughter "oh, how is my daughter going to sell ice cream in this weather, to provide the money to keep her family?"
Every day, regardless of the weather, the old lady was torn over how well one daughter would be doing, (and how good that was) and on the other she was worried about how the other daughter might be making ends meet.
A man was passing one day and heard her tales of woe. He listened patiently as she explained her dilemma. Once she had finished, he nodded wisely. "Old lady" he said "why are you giving yourself such a hard time? The answer is easy! When the sun is shining, be grateful that this allows your daughter to sell many ice creams and thereby build up extra funds for those 'rainy days' and when it is raining, be grateful that your other daughter is able to sell many umbrellas, allowing her to survive through the sunny spells."
The old woman looked at the man in surprise and then gave him a really big hug "Oh thank you so much, I hadn't thought of it like that! You are indeed right! Whatever the weather, one of my daughters will be making money, and I know that this will stand them in good stead for the times when they are unable to".
This story had 2 messages for me.
One is that it is possible, with just a little help from someone else, to see things from a different and possibly more positive angle and the second is that maybe, just maybe, we spend too much time complaining about our lives not being perfect, that we don't stop to appreciate what good things we do have going on. Before we know it, that time is past and we can never go back....
So what are you complaining about? Could a change of perspective help make it more acceptable?
And do you find you are constantly striving for that time when you have the money you need, the next promotion, that relaxing holiday, have children, have the children leave home (if indeed they do!)....then be careful, you may have just fallen into the age old trap of not really appreciating where you are and enjoying the ride!
If this does sound like you, then call Relish People now on 01252 783 524, to see what we can do for you, to help get life back into perspective - within 4 sessions we can make a difference!
Footnote
I have written this with a touch of personal experience - I have lived much of my life in the future, despite having a very positive outlook on life. I just thought about the changes I could make that would make life even better.
With a little help from a friend of Relishs', I was able to see how much I was not appreciating the present and the good fortune I had now. As a result, I still have one eye on the future, and the other on the present!
Further Reading: Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now - a little tough to get to grips with, but persevere, it has some powerful messages!
There is a saying that every cloud has a silver lining, or if you are so inclined, every silver lining has a cloud!
How interesting? It seems to suggest that you cannot have one without the other. And if that is the case, unless we are happy to be on a rollercoaster through life, the best way is to accept the 'rough with the smooth' and make the most of what there is now - isn't it?
I once a heard a story on the radio about an old woman who had 2 daughters. One was married to the local umbrella salesman and the other (in the next village) was married to the local ice cream seller.
On hot and sunny days, the old lady had a dilemma - her daughter married to the local ice cream seller would be making lots of money and that was fantastic. "But what about my poor daughter, with no rain she will not be making any money, and she will not have enough to live on!"
On rainy and windy days, the old lady's dilemma was no better. She was really pleased that her daughter would sell numerous umbrellas to provide for her and her family. Then she thought about the other daughter "oh, how is my daughter going to sell ice cream in this weather, to provide the money to keep her family?"
Every day, regardless of the weather, the old lady was torn over how well one daughter would be doing, (and how good that was) and on the other she was worried about how the other daughter might be making ends meet.
A man was passing one day and heard her tales of woe. He listened patiently as she explained her dilemma. Once she had finished, he nodded wisely. "Old lady" he said "why are you giving yourself such a hard time? The answer is easy! When the sun is shining, be grateful that this allows your daughter to sell many ice creams and thereby build up extra funds for those 'rainy days' and when it is raining, be grateful that your other daughter is able to sell many umbrellas, allowing her to survive through the sunny spells."
The old woman looked at the man in surprise and then gave him a really big hug "Oh thank you so much, I hadn't thought of it like that! You are indeed right! Whatever the weather, one of my daughters will be making money, and I know that this will stand them in good stead for the times when they are unable to".
This story had 2 messages for me.
One is that it is possible, with just a little help from someone else, to see things from a different and possibly more positive angle and the second is that maybe, just maybe, we spend too much time complaining about our lives not being perfect, that we don't stop to appreciate what good things we do have going on. Before we know it, that time is past and we can never go back....
So what are you complaining about? Could a change of perspective help make it more acceptable?
And do you find you are constantly striving for that time when you have the money you need, the next promotion, that relaxing holiday, have children, have the children leave home (if indeed they do!)....then be careful, you may have just fallen into the age old trap of not really appreciating where you are and enjoying the ride!
If this does sound like you, then call Relish People now on 01252 783 524, to see what we can do for you, to help get life back into perspective - within 4 sessions we can make a difference!
Footnote
I have written this with a touch of personal experience - I have lived much of my life in the future, despite having a very positive outlook on life. I just thought about the changes I could make that would make life even better.
With a little help from a friend of Relishs', I was able to see how much I was not appreciating the present and the good fortune I had now. As a result, I still have one eye on the future, and the other on the present!
Further Reading: Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now - a little tough to get to grips with, but persevere, it has some powerful messages!
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