Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?

For as long as I can remember I have been late or rushing around at the last moment for all sorts of things. Social occasions, meetings, appointments, booking the car in for a service, sorting out tax and VAT etc. etc

It is so well know amongst friends and family that they automatically build in an extra half an hour to ensure that I arrive on time, which must be incredibly frustrating for them, I have Outlook to remind me of all the things that are due to be done at work, and the family now know that they need to chase me to make sure that things get done – it is a standing joke!

I have always reasoned that the important things in life get done, and the only person who suffers from my tardiness, is me, however, I know that is not strictly true, it is my committment to the task in hand that is at fault!

Naturally there are some things I am on time for – medical appointments where they charge you for not turning up, new clients and the odd occasion where to be late would be very rude, as opposed to fashionably late.

So why do I, and many others like me, live life like this?

Here I look at some of my more typical ‘excuses’ that I have used on a regular basis – see if any of these apply to you!

‘Excuses’ we use to delay starting and finishing tasks!

Personality – it’s the way I am
I love this one! I remember when I was learning to be a Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and discovered that part of my type was to leave making decisions until I absolutely had to – hoorah! It was my personality type, surely that meant it was not my fault! However, at the time I was a Project Manager, and this was not a good sign! It was then pointed out during the course, that whilst we did have a preferential style, many of us had learnt to ‘operate’ in our opposing preference equally well. So that put paid to that – I knew that I could and frequently did meet deadlines, so this could not be the only reason.

Mudane jobs
Of course, there was always the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and therefore, had a fantastic ability to put off those tasks and jobs that I really didn’t enjoy until I really had no choice but to do them. I am sure many of you can identify the tax returns all being done in January! So clearly, I needed an incentive to get tasks done? Well a penalty actually, as most tasks with an incentive would naturally get done – rewards are always a great way to increase motivation! The best way is to get the mundane tasks done as quickly as possible or find someone else to do them!

New or large jobs
These have been known to trip me up from time to time – particularly ones where the whole process of getting them done is new to me such as new technology! We all know the saying “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time”, but what does this mean exactly? When looking at sorting out your finances for example, it is potentially going to take time to gather the information, look around for loans or interest free credit cards etc and it is so easy to put it off, rather than start on it. This is where planning can make a difference.

Thinking and planning time
Some tasks required an element of thinking and planning for how I was going to get them done and I was always too busy working my way through a “To do list” that would have done Tony Blair proud! I found that I barely had time to pause for breath! Several Time Management courses later, I am still prone to making the same mistakes, and yet I know that taking some precious time out to think and plan what has to be done, pays great dividends in terms of being able to get straight on with a task.

Avoidance tactics
This is a personal favourite of mine – finding all the jobs I love to do, to avoid doing the ones that need to be done. Even mundane jobs begin to look attractive. You know what I mean, you read emails you never normally have time for, you ‘tidy up and sort out’ the garage, cupboards, drawers, CD collections, you call that friend you have been meaning to for a while, and all in the name of avoiding the job in hand! Scheduling these tasks in at a time when you are at your best, can mean you get them completely really quickly!

Priorities
How much of what we do is important? I know that many tasks I do during the day, do not always move me in the direction I want to be going ie going to the gym. Like many people, I have taken my health for granted, and then finally decided that actually I really needed to be doing something about it – however, work and family commitments seemed to take up so much time! Of course, what I needed to understand was that without my health, there would be no work and family issues – it was indeed a priority!

These are my personal favourites, and I am sure that you may know of others. The first thing to stop putting things off is to first understand that you are indeed doing it. Then and only then, can you begin to understand what is stopping you and do something about it! Let me know what you do!

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Mirror! Mirror! On the wall.....

Life has a funny way of letting you know when you have something to learn....

For the past week I have had a couple of challenging moments, where I experienced extreme frustration with others who had not met their committments, or were not taking responsibility for the woes in their business life, choosing instead to complain.

In the Relish world we are great believers of when things are not going well for you then the first thing you need to do is look more closely at yourself - "how can this be" I hear you ask yourself, "it is not my fault things are not going well...."

Well, some years ago when my eldest daughter was just a toddler, we were away on a camping holiday with a group of friends. This one morning she had been particularly trying, to the point that I had to walk away as I was getting really angry with her.

To cool off, I went to one of the other caravans to have a coffee with a friend. She listened to me patiently, as I moaned and complained about how she was winding me up.

When I had finished my ranting, she looked me in the eye and said "What is it about your daughter that is a mirror of yourself?" I looked at her in disbelief, "what on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Well" she said "sometimes, when we get upset with others, it is because they are exhibiting behaviours that are very much like our own, and which we don't really like". My natural response what to deny it, however, a bit later on, after I had reflected on what she had said, I realised that actually there was an element of truth in it. My daughter had indeed been displaying a behaviour that was very much one I had, and certainly it was one I was not happy with - procrastination!

It had a profound effect on me, and changed the way I behaved as a parent. Clearly the events over the past week, have shown me that it remains as true today as it always has. So clearly, remembering this approach, I have to look in what way I am not committing myself and taking responsibility....watch for future blogs to see what I find out!

For help in identifying why you maybe experiencing difficulties with the relationships in your life, look us up on the web to see how we can help you!