Psycademy Spritual Development Events

For those closest to me, you will already know that I have always been interested in spiritual matters. Having lost a mum when I was very young, who was very interested in such things, I have long held an interest in having my cards read or my 'fortune' told.

Last year, my health was making life difficult, and having started practising the work that I now preach, I found myself drawn to Psycademy, run by a fabulous lady called Lisa Turner! Having met her and been inspired by her, I instantly knew that I needed to know more about this side of life.

For the past 10 years, since my divorce, I have been 'sorting' myself out, looking for something and having addressed much of the mental turmoil, and some of the emotional stuff from that time, my physical and spiritual wellbeing needing addressing. ( I am a Libran, and having balance in our lives is something we constantly strive for!)

I had a 'Breakthrough' session with Lisa in January regarding weight, poor health and sudden energy losses that just left me exhausted in front of the tele at a weekend. This 'Breakthrough' session turned out to be a real turning point for me - I signed up for her Spiritual and Psychic practitioner course and I have not looked back!!

For those of you who are pooh poohing all this as nonsense, I completely understand, I too would have said the same, even a few years ago, however, there are some really valuable practices, that we as human beings seem to have lost in our evolutionary journey.

One of the biggest benefits I have picked up (and let me tell you there are many), I have found that meditating on a regular basis has added a sense of calm to my life, that I honestly have not experienced before. Taking time out to focus on you, the real you, the internal you, is one of the best habits you can learn. Even if it is just for 5 minutes a day, this small amount of time where you focus on say your breathing, an image, or just daydream and allowing your mind to just switch off for a few minutes, is incredibly powerful.

The one thing that clearly drew me to Lisa is her practical and pragmatic approach to spiritual way of being - she uses her previous life as a technical engineer to explain how it works, her no- nonsense approach weaves in key elements of NLP (responsiblity, cause and effect & perception is projection) to demonstrate how we create much of what we experience.

So when Lisa said she was going to run development evenings to build upon what we already knew, plus extras - I did not hesitate. After one of these evenings, I always feel on a bit of a high and this week was no different! I have had a busy few weeks, as you can see from the earlier entries to my blog, and I was feeling quite weary - however, after being at this event - I became fully awake and alert! Woohoo!!

I would highly recommend some time with Lisa if this is something you are interested in!

Wound up and ready to go!!

As you may have by now gathered, I have recently had my plaster removed - Woohoo!!

How fantastic is that? I am now free to go out and get in my car and drive!

And yet, my time spent at home has been quite an interesting one!

I only moved into my current home last October, and even before the contracts were signed, I already knew that my longer term plans meant I would not be there for very long, just until youngest daughter has finished her schooling, so all being well, within the next couple of years.

It made me think about how many times I have moved over the years. Always for some seemingly valid reason - a bigger home, an older place, a place in the country, one in the town etc etc. And actually when I really thought about it, underpining all these moves is a restlessness that I was, until recently, completely unaware of - I was unhappy where I was and was always striving to the future, where everything would be alright.

Wow! I knew that I have always had great plans for the future, where I was going, what I wanted and how I was going to do it (roughly), what I hadn't realised though was I was not living in the 'now'. I was not appreciating what I had at this very moment, as what I had planned was always better! And of course until it happens it is not real, is it?

Of course, living 'now', is much easier said than done, when you have spent a lifetime (or so it feels) looking to the future, but by just bringing your awareness onto what we are doing now....right now, apparantly is a really good start!

What if you don't like where you are? Then at least you are now more aware of what 'it' is doing to you, and if the 'pain' is enough, guess what? You will do something! And if it is just uncomfortable, then you are not ready - your choice, your responsibility.

For me, moving was a way to feel like I was progressing, moving towards to the future I believed would be happier and yet, what I was doing was ignoring the fact I was unhappy.

So watch out! If you are constantly changing jobs, relationships or homes like me, you maybe avoiding something! Call us to arrange a one:one session to see what might be your issue!

Relish Book - Our Approach to Lifes Lessons

Late last year Wendy and I decided we wanted to write a book about the work that we do, and as I am the "creator" and Wendy is the "completer/finisher" we decided I would write it, and she would then check i had included everything, that the grammar was correct etc. We found a publisher who was interested in what we were doing and all that had to happen was for me to start writing......mmmm... there was the rub! I had to make time for it. Well as great believers in the universe at work, I broke my foot and that presented me with an ideal opportunity to get on and write it......and I have!

The book is all about self development.

The majority of people who come along to see us have some sort of issue that has got to a point where they really WANT to change. Invariably the problem they believe they have, is never the real problem, it is just a symptom of the real problem, and the real problem usually turns out to be something to do with the relationship they have with themselves.

Part of our work is recognizing this and helping them to make the changes they need that make a difference. Invariably, any ‘problems’ we are experiencing, any ‘pain’ or any ‘negative emotions’ (all in inverted commas, as these words mean different things to different people) are just a message from our unconscious that we need to make some sort of change – it is just that we are not tuned into it or don't know what to do about it.

Our book, will help peopole do just that – raise awareness of what needs to be addressed, understand what choices we have and then look to take responsibility to make the changes we need to.

In just under 3 weeks, the first draft is in place and I have just over one more week to go through it and make sure that it is ok so that Wendy can do her bit! How fab is that!

I would prefer of course, not to break a limb everytime something big needs to be done, and so part of taking responsibility, I am going to be very good at setting at least a couple of days a month aside to get on and do stuff that will move the business forward!

Life's Lessons - How a broken foot helped me to ask for help!

At the beginning of May, I had the calamity of falling off my flip flop, whilst washing the car and broke my foot! (The fifth metatarsal to be exact!)

Cleaning the car is clearly a dangerous sport and from now on I will get a big strong man to do it for me!!

Actually, I should point out at this stage, that whilst I slipped off my flip flop, which in itself, I am unabashed about, it was the second part of the manouvre that finally did the damage - falling down an embankment and rolling over on the foot! Me being me, I thought what a muppet, and assumed I had just badly bruised/sprained it, and pretended like nothing much had happened – typical me. I am not good with illness or injury. Just ask my family! My poor ex-husband was nearly at death’s door, when I made him walk into A & E, with pernicious anaema, that had him barely able to breathe, let alone walk! Or the time, daughter had fallen off her mini bike in the front room and hit her shoulder, I put cold water on it, expecting just a bruise and it wasn’t until I picked her up and she let out such a scream, that I took her to the hospital, holding her out like an offering, begging them to stop the noise, and it turned out she had a dislocated shoulder and then there was the time….actually this list could go on and on, I am not the best person to be around in the event of any personal physical ailment!

In my defense, I treat myself the same, my typical remedies of hot or cold water, or failing that taking to your bed for a sleep didn’t seem to work. I was in agony!! I couldn't put hardly weight on it, and even had to buy some shoes that allowed me to still go out and look reasonably decent whilst containing my foot, which looked just like an elephants! Being a martyr to the cause (?! Which one is yet to be clarified!) a month later, I was still suffering. It was only when someone made a comment about my foot still looking bad. I finally admitted that I had better get myself off to hospital.

Now not one to make life simple for myself, I went to Frimley Park near where I work in Farnham, half expecting them to send me home with a flea in my ear. Can you believe it I even had my car washed (inside and out) whilst I was there, how ironic is that!

They were fabulous to me, and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long to have it confirmed I had broken it - No wonder it hurt! It turned out that I was not allowed to drive and that meant a stay at home! (I had to ask them not to plaster it there and then and let me go to Winchester, which is closer to me).

How crap did I feel? I love my freedom and spend a great deal of time in my car travelling around seeing family, friends, etc!

Still 3 weeks later and I have learnt a number of very valuable lessons.

I have rarely asked for help, always dealing with everything life throws at me on my own, making me fiercely independent (hence the reaction to being stuck at home and not being able to drive). I have had to ask for and rely on help in getting backwards and forwards to the hospital, shopping, getting out and about and my friends and work colleagues have been absolutely fantastic. I have always felt unhappy about asking for favours, believing I was putting people out in some way.

During this time, someone said to me that in order for a relationship of any type to thrive there has to be not just giving but ‘taking’ or better still receiving, some sort of reciprocal arrangement. Imagine a bank account, where you only ever took money out to pay your bills, eventually it would go overdrawn and would reach a point where you couldn’t give any more. It needs to have some money coming back in. And so with relationships, in order to be able to give, you do need to receive something back in your emotional, physical, mental or spiritual bank or you end up ‘overdrawn’.

This accident was my way of dealing with being ‘overdrawn’.

Besides, doing things for other people that we love and care about makes us feel good, who am I to deprive them of that feeling!

From now on, I will ask a bit more often and it is a lesson that I will need to continually be reminded of, as changing a habit of a lifetime is not necessarily achieved overnight with help - ah! first reminder of asking for help! I will speak to Wendy and she can do some NLP on me!

So if you are one of life’s givers – beware! In order to continue to do that and maintain healthy relationships, you need to be able to receive too. And if this is something you find hard like me? Then maybe you have something that you believe about yourself that needs changing! Just look at the Relish website for limiting beliefs to see how you can do that easily and painlessly.

Why do today, what you can put off until tomorrow?

For as long as I can remember I have been late or rushing around at the last moment for all sorts of things. Social occasions, meetings, appointments, booking the car in for a service, sorting out tax and VAT etc. etc

It is so well know amongst friends and family that they automatically build in an extra half an hour to ensure that I arrive on time, which must be incredibly frustrating for them, I have Outlook to remind me of all the things that are due to be done at work, and the family now know that they need to chase me to make sure that things get done – it is a standing joke!

I have always reasoned that the important things in life get done, and the only person who suffers from my tardiness, is me, however, I know that is not strictly true, it is my committment to the task in hand that is at fault!

Naturally there are some things I am on time for – medical appointments where they charge you for not turning up, new clients and the odd occasion where to be late would be very rude, as opposed to fashionably late.

So why do I, and many others like me, live life like this?

Here I look at some of my more typical ‘excuses’ that I have used on a regular basis – see if any of these apply to you!

‘Excuses’ we use to delay starting and finishing tasks!

Personality – it’s the way I am
I love this one! I remember when I was learning to be a Myers Briggs Type Indicator practitioner, and discovered that part of my type was to leave making decisions until I absolutely had to – hoorah! It was my personality type, surely that meant it was not my fault! However, at the time I was a Project Manager, and this was not a good sign! It was then pointed out during the course, that whilst we did have a preferential style, many of us had learnt to ‘operate’ in our opposing preference equally well. So that put paid to that – I knew that I could and frequently did meet deadlines, so this could not be the only reason.

Mudane jobs
Of course, there was always the fact that I didn’t like what I was doing and therefore, had a fantastic ability to put off those tasks and jobs that I really didn’t enjoy until I really had no choice but to do them. I am sure many of you can identify the tax returns all being done in January! So clearly, I needed an incentive to get tasks done? Well a penalty actually, as most tasks with an incentive would naturally get done – rewards are always a great way to increase motivation! The best way is to get the mundane tasks done as quickly as possible or find someone else to do them!

New or large jobs
These have been known to trip me up from time to time – particularly ones where the whole process of getting them done is new to me such as new technology! We all know the saying “How do you eat an elephant? One bit at a time”, but what does this mean exactly? When looking at sorting out your finances for example, it is potentially going to take time to gather the information, look around for loans or interest free credit cards etc and it is so easy to put it off, rather than start on it. This is where planning can make a difference.

Thinking and planning time
Some tasks required an element of thinking and planning for how I was going to get them done and I was always too busy working my way through a “To do list” that would have done Tony Blair proud! I found that I barely had time to pause for breath! Several Time Management courses later, I am still prone to making the same mistakes, and yet I know that taking some precious time out to think and plan what has to be done, pays great dividends in terms of being able to get straight on with a task.

Avoidance tactics
This is a personal favourite of mine – finding all the jobs I love to do, to avoid doing the ones that need to be done. Even mundane jobs begin to look attractive. You know what I mean, you read emails you never normally have time for, you ‘tidy up and sort out’ the garage, cupboards, drawers, CD collections, you call that friend you have been meaning to for a while, and all in the name of avoiding the job in hand! Scheduling these tasks in at a time when you are at your best, can mean you get them completely really quickly!

Priorities
How much of what we do is important? I know that many tasks I do during the day, do not always move me in the direction I want to be going ie going to the gym. Like many people, I have taken my health for granted, and then finally decided that actually I really needed to be doing something about it – however, work and family commitments seemed to take up so much time! Of course, what I needed to understand was that without my health, there would be no work and family issues – it was indeed a priority!

These are my personal favourites, and I am sure that you may know of others. The first thing to stop putting things off is to first understand that you are indeed doing it. Then and only then, can you begin to understand what is stopping you and do something about it! Let me know what you do!

Relish People is the UK’s No.1 Life Design business, helping people who are dissatisfied with life, to get more out of it – call us now on 01252 783 524 to find out how we can help you!

Mirror! Mirror! On the wall.....

Life has a funny way of letting you know when you have something to learn....

For the past week I have had a couple of challenging moments, where I experienced extreme frustration with others who had not met their committments, or were not taking responsibility for the woes in their business life, choosing instead to complain.

In the Relish world we are great believers of when things are not going well for you then the first thing you need to do is look more closely at yourself - "how can this be" I hear you ask yourself, "it is not my fault things are not going well...."

Well, some years ago when my eldest daughter was just a toddler, we were away on a camping holiday with a group of friends. This one morning she had been particularly trying, to the point that I had to walk away as I was getting really angry with her.

To cool off, I went to one of the other caravans to have a coffee with a friend. She listened to me patiently, as I moaned and complained about how she was winding me up.

When I had finished my ranting, she looked me in the eye and said "What is it about your daughter that is a mirror of yourself?" I looked at her in disbelief, "what on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Well" she said "sometimes, when we get upset with others, it is because they are exhibiting behaviours that are very much like our own, and which we don't really like". My natural response what to deny it, however, a bit later on, after I had reflected on what she had said, I realised that actually there was an element of truth in it. My daughter had indeed been displaying a behaviour that was very much one I had, and certainly it was one I was not happy with - procrastination!

It had a profound effect on me, and changed the way I behaved as a parent. Clearly the events over the past week, have shown me that it remains as true today as it always has. So clearly, remembering this approach, I have to look in what way I am not committing myself and taking responsibility....watch for future blogs to see what I find out!

For help in identifying why you maybe experiencing difficulties with the relationships in your life, look us up on the web to see how we can help you!