12th January - Did you survive?

12th January has been cited as the day that most relationships finally break down.

Here, at Relish, we have seen an increase in the number of people approaching us with relationship difficulties that have been highlighted over the festive period, which, when combined with the New Year when thoughts turn to the future,needs to change.

So what is it about the Christmas period that accentuates this trend more than any other time of year?

Well, Christmas is a very exceptional time of year with most of us having a very clear idea of what it should be like, particularly women. Combined with the expectations, there are the - overindulgences, the xmas parties, long hours at work finishing off or just getting things done before the holidays, the weather, suddenly being cooped up with relatives who are great, except for extended periods of time and the list goes on...

Most people put on some sort of front, for fear they will be criticised for being a 'bah humbug' and the tension (be it excitement or pressure)begins to rise and until somewhere, it has to be released.

In the majority of cases, this can be done safely and easily, as a solid relationship will be able to cope with any fallout. However, for a relationship in trouble, it just highlights how unhappy you are, as everyone around you appears to be having a good time.

A survey has identified that up to 30% of relationships that break down after Christmas, the decision to split was taken before the festivities on some level, and was only postponed, generally, because of guilt.

Of course, just because there was a falling out over the festive period, does not mean that the relationship is on the rocks. It does mean though that there is something in the relationship that may need looking at and now we are into January, this is an excellent time to do it.

Here at Relish, we are great at helping people get to the root cause of what is going on for them, and if you are in the position of knowing your relationship needs a little help, then call us for a free consultation session and find out how we can help you get it back on track!

Relish partner with new networking group!

Wendy and I are really excited!

We have teamed up with a new business club in Alton and once a month, we will be leading one of their meetings!

a4b (alton4business) is a new business breakfast club, all about building better businesses! The team leading this new group (Andy Manning, David Woodroofe, David Baker, Paul Susans and Rob McCusker) are all seasoned networkers, and were really keen to create something more local and focused on helping businesses grow!

The launch meeting on the 19th September, was well attended by over 16 people, many of whom, expressed an interest in joining the group.

After taking time for networking and breakfast, Andy Manning, the group leader, stood up to explain how this group proposed to differentiate itself from other networking groups, by providing a variety of interesting speakers, business growth sessions (run by Relish People), and activities to stimulate, encourage and develop those who come along!

For the last part of the session, the tables were divided into 3, to allow each person to introduce him or herself to the rest of the table, and to encourage more discussion.

The meeting closed at 9am prompt, and it was great to see so many remain behind and continue to network and talk!

A real success!

I am really excited about the opportunity to show how Relish People can help businesses, and the first session I will run on the 3rd October is about 'Working on your Business or In it? - The Challenges facing small businesses'.

Get yourself along in order to find out how this group can help your business, or better still get in touch with Relish People and see what we can do to help!

Institute of Directors (IOD) Evening

Wendy and I joined the IOD earlier this year, so that we could begin to network in London and we went to our first members evening this week.

The first part of the meeting was a presentation on Marketing, given by one of the trainers on the director certificate/diplomas. It contained some useful information, which confirmed some of the things that we were doing, and highlighted others we might need to review!

Afterwards, we had a great opportunity to network, and with our usual goodnatured spirit and 'go get 'em' approach we met some really good people.

Wendy met someone whose business is just about to move to Fleet, not far from our offices in Farnham, and she expressed an interest in what we do, so we have arranged to meet her once she has moved.

I, in the meantime, met a couple of 'cheeky Essex boys' who work in the city, and after debating the merits of coaching vs NLP, we talked more about where we lived (one of whom lives in Wivenhoe, near my brother!), what we were doing there, and our interests, including some sporty stuff (and obviously NOT my pending visit to the Nurberbring!! :)).

We also got a chance to question the IOD staff more about the benefits of the organisation, and for us, the key is most definitely the networking. One of team was from Reading, and as this is not too far from us, we are going to have a look around their premises and see what they can offer!

How beneficial joining the IOD will be for Relish People, is too early to tell, however, (and I have said this before), it is not necessarily about the people you meet buying your products and services, it is the people they know, and we are hoping that this organisation will get us known in the wider business community!

Watch this space!

Netwalking - The highs and lows!

Last week Wendy and I went on a country walk in Guildford with a crowd of people.

Wendy and I are members of an online community called Ecademy, and one of the groups led by Tom Evans and Jenny Littlejohn, run a networking meeting with a difference!! A Netwalk!

The idea is that you walk and talk and build relationships whilst you do so. It is a great way to get out and about, exercise, meet new people and old friends.

We met in a country pub near Shere, and walked through the Surrey Hills for about an hour and a half and although is was raining, everyone had a great time!

As I had just returned from holiday, Wendy and I managed to talk the whole time (no change there then!) and to catch up on everything that had been going on.

Unfortunately, I did not take in too much of the scenery as I was too busy watching my feet to make sure that I did not fall over (one broken foot is enough for anyone!) which was a bit of a shame as the Surrey Hills are beautiful.

By the time we got back to the pub, we were soaked through. Most of us had hair stuck to our heads, very muddy boots and trousers soaked up past our knee caps, however, Wendy seemed to come off worse.

Her trousers were ruined, they were not only very wet, but they were also ripped, as she had caught them on a branch on the way round, so when it came to going home, she decided that she would take them off and drive home in her underwear!

We joked briefly about what she would do if she was stopped on the way home and she said it was unlikely.....However, about 5 minutes into the journey, I get a call from Wendy. "You'll never guess what?" she said. "what" I replied. "My petrol light has come on and I might have to stop to fill up!" It was so funny, I could barely see where I was driving for the tears of laughter!!

Anyway, I followed her back as far as Farnham, after which she assured me she would make it home - thank goodness!

The moral of the tale? Make sure when you are going on a walk, dress appropriately and make sure you have a spare set of clothes in the car!!

Relish Book - Our Approach to Lifes Lessons

Late last year Wendy and I decided we wanted to write a book about the work that we do, and as I am the "creator" and Wendy is the "completer/finisher" we decided I would write it, and she would then check i had included everything, that the grammar was correct etc. We found a publisher who was interested in what we were doing and all that had to happen was for me to start writing......mmmm... there was the rub! I had to make time for it. Well as great believers in the universe at work, I broke my foot and that presented me with an ideal opportunity to get on and write it......and I have!

The book is all about self development.

The majority of people who come along to see us have some sort of issue that has got to a point where they really WANT to change. Invariably the problem they believe they have, is never the real problem, it is just a symptom of the real problem, and the real problem usually turns out to be something to do with the relationship they have with themselves.

Part of our work is recognizing this and helping them to make the changes they need that make a difference. Invariably, any ‘problems’ we are experiencing, any ‘pain’ or any ‘negative emotions’ (all in inverted commas, as these words mean different things to different people) are just a message from our unconscious that we need to make some sort of change – it is just that we are not tuned into it or don't know what to do about it.

Our book, will help peopole do just that – raise awareness of what needs to be addressed, understand what choices we have and then look to take responsibility to make the changes we need to.

In just under 3 weeks, the first draft is in place and I have just over one more week to go through it and make sure that it is ok so that Wendy can do her bit! How fab is that!

I would prefer of course, not to break a limb everytime something big needs to be done, and so part of taking responsibility, I am going to be very good at setting at least a couple of days a month aside to get on and do stuff that will move the business forward!

Mirror! Mirror! On the wall.....

Life has a funny way of letting you know when you have something to learn....

For the past week I have had a couple of challenging moments, where I experienced extreme frustration with others who had not met their committments, or were not taking responsibility for the woes in their business life, choosing instead to complain.

In the Relish world we are great believers of when things are not going well for you then the first thing you need to do is look more closely at yourself - "how can this be" I hear you ask yourself, "it is not my fault things are not going well...."

Well, some years ago when my eldest daughter was just a toddler, we were away on a camping holiday with a group of friends. This one morning she had been particularly trying, to the point that I had to walk away as I was getting really angry with her.

To cool off, I went to one of the other caravans to have a coffee with a friend. She listened to me patiently, as I moaned and complained about how she was winding me up.

When I had finished my ranting, she looked me in the eye and said "What is it about your daughter that is a mirror of yourself?" I looked at her in disbelief, "what on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Well" she said "sometimes, when we get upset with others, it is because they are exhibiting behaviours that are very much like our own, and which we don't really like". My natural response what to deny it, however, a bit later on, after I had reflected on what she had said, I realised that actually there was an element of truth in it. My daughter had indeed been displaying a behaviour that was very much one I had, and certainly it was one I was not happy with - procrastination!

It had a profound effect on me, and changed the way I behaved as a parent. Clearly the events over the past week, have shown me that it remains as true today as it always has. So clearly, remembering this approach, I have to look in what way I am not committing myself and taking responsibility....watch for future blogs to see what I find out!

For help in identifying why you maybe experiencing difficulties with the relationships in your life, look us up on the web to see how we can help you!