As you may have by now gathered, I have recently had my plaster removed - Woohoo!!
How fantastic is that? I am now free to go out and get in my car and drive!
And yet, my time spent at home has been quite an interesting one!
I only moved into my current home last October, and even before the contracts were signed, I already knew that my longer term plans meant I would not be there for very long, just until youngest daughter has finished her schooling, so all being well, within the next couple of years.
It made me think about how many times I have moved over the years. Always for some seemingly valid reason - a bigger home, an older place, a place in the country, one in the town etc etc. And actually when I really thought about it, underpining all these moves is a restlessness that I was, until recently, completely unaware of - I was unhappy where I was and was always striving to the future, where everything would be alright.
Wow! I knew that I have always had great plans for the future, where I was going, what I wanted and how I was going to do it (roughly), what I hadn't realised though was I was not living in the 'now'. I was not appreciating what I had at this very moment, as what I had planned was always better! And of course until it happens it is not real, is it?
Of course, living 'now', is much easier said than done, when you have spent a lifetime (or so it feels) looking to the future, but by just bringing your awareness onto what we are doing now....right now, apparantly is a really good start!
What if you don't like where you are? Then at least you are now more aware of what 'it' is doing to you, and if the 'pain' is enough, guess what? You will do something! And if it is just uncomfortable, then you are not ready - your choice, your responsibility.
For me, moving was a way to feel like I was progressing, moving towards to the future I believed would be happier and yet, what I was doing was ignoring the fact I was unhappy.
So watch out! If you are constantly changing jobs, relationships or homes like me, you maybe avoiding something! Call us to arrange a one:one session to see what might be your issue!
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
Sunday, 17 June 2007
Life's Lessons - How a broken foot helped me to ask for help!
At the beginning of May, I had the calamity of falling off my flip flop, whilst washing the car and broke my foot! (The fifth metatarsal to be exact!)
Cleaning the car is clearly a dangerous sport and from now on I will get a big strong man to do it for me!!
Actually, I should point out at this stage, that whilst I slipped off my flip flop, which in itself, I am unabashed about, it was the second part of the manouvre that finally did the damage - falling down an embankment and rolling over on the foot! Me being me, I thought what a muppet, and assumed I had just badly bruised/sprained it, and pretended like nothing much had happened – typical me. I am not good with illness or injury. Just ask my family! My poor ex-husband was nearly at death’s door, when I made him walk into A & E, with pernicious anaema, that had him barely able to breathe, let alone walk! Or the time, daughter had fallen off her mini bike in the front room and hit her shoulder, I put cold water on it, expecting just a bruise and it wasn’t until I picked her up and she let out such a scream, that I took her to the hospital, holding her out like an offering, begging them to stop the noise, and it turned out she had a dislocated shoulder and then there was the time….actually this list could go on and on, I am not the best person to be around in the event of any personal physical ailment!
In my defense, I treat myself the same, my typical remedies of hot or cold water, or failing that taking to your bed for a sleep didn’t seem to work. I was in agony!! I couldn't put hardly weight on it, and even had to buy some shoes that allowed me to still go out and look reasonably decent whilst containing my foot, which looked just like an elephants! Being a martyr to the cause (?! Which one is yet to be clarified!) a month later, I was still suffering. It was only when someone made a comment about my foot still looking bad. I finally admitted that I had better get myself off to hospital.
Now not one to make life simple for myself, I went to Frimley Park near where I work in Farnham, half expecting them to send me home with a flea in my ear. Can you believe it I even had my car washed (inside and out) whilst I was there, how ironic is that!
They were fabulous to me, and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long to have it confirmed I had broken it - No wonder it hurt! It turned out that I was not allowed to drive and that meant a stay at home! (I had to ask them not to plaster it there and then and let me go to Winchester, which is closer to me).
How crap did I feel? I love my freedom and spend a great deal of time in my car travelling around seeing family, friends, etc!
Still 3 weeks later and I have learnt a number of very valuable lessons.
I have rarely asked for help, always dealing with everything life throws at me on my own, making me fiercely independent (hence the reaction to being stuck at home and not being able to drive). I have had to ask for and rely on help in getting backwards and forwards to the hospital, shopping, getting out and about and my friends and work colleagues have been absolutely fantastic. I have always felt unhappy about asking for favours, believing I was putting people out in some way.
During this time, someone said to me that in order for a relationship of any type to thrive there has to be not just giving but ‘taking’ or better still receiving, some sort of reciprocal arrangement. Imagine a bank account, where you only ever took money out to pay your bills, eventually it would go overdrawn and would reach a point where you couldn’t give any more. It needs to have some money coming back in. And so with relationships, in order to be able to give, you do need to receive something back in your emotional, physical, mental or spiritual bank or you end up ‘overdrawn’.
This accident was my way of dealing with being ‘overdrawn’.
Besides, doing things for other people that we love and care about makes us feel good, who am I to deprive them of that feeling!
From now on, I will ask a bit more often and it is a lesson that I will need to continually be reminded of, as changing a habit of a lifetime is not necessarily achieved overnight with help - ah! first reminder of asking for help! I will speak to Wendy and she can do some NLP on me!
So if you are one of life’s givers – beware! In order to continue to do that and maintain healthy relationships, you need to be able to receive too. And if this is something you find hard like me? Then maybe you have something that you believe about yourself that needs changing! Just look at the Relish website for limiting beliefs to see how you can do that easily and painlessly.
Cleaning the car is clearly a dangerous sport and from now on I will get a big strong man to do it for me!!
Actually, I should point out at this stage, that whilst I slipped off my flip flop, which in itself, I am unabashed about, it was the second part of the manouvre that finally did the damage - falling down an embankment and rolling over on the foot! Me being me, I thought what a muppet, and assumed I had just badly bruised/sprained it, and pretended like nothing much had happened – typical me. I am not good with illness or injury. Just ask my family! My poor ex-husband was nearly at death’s door, when I made him walk into A & E, with pernicious anaema, that had him barely able to breathe, let alone walk! Or the time, daughter had fallen off her mini bike in the front room and hit her shoulder, I put cold water on it, expecting just a bruise and it wasn’t until I picked her up and she let out such a scream, that I took her to the hospital, holding her out like an offering, begging them to stop the noise, and it turned out she had a dislocated shoulder and then there was the time….actually this list could go on and on, I am not the best person to be around in the event of any personal physical ailment!
In my defense, I treat myself the same, my typical remedies of hot or cold water, or failing that taking to your bed for a sleep didn’t seem to work. I was in agony!! I couldn't put hardly weight on it, and even had to buy some shoes that allowed me to still go out and look reasonably decent whilst containing my foot, which looked just like an elephants! Being a martyr to the cause (?! Which one is yet to be clarified!) a month later, I was still suffering. It was only when someone made a comment about my foot still looking bad. I finally admitted that I had better get myself off to hospital.
Now not one to make life simple for myself, I went to Frimley Park near where I work in Farnham, half expecting them to send me home with a flea in my ear. Can you believe it I even had my car washed (inside and out) whilst I was there, how ironic is that!
They were fabulous to me, and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long to have it confirmed I had broken it - No wonder it hurt! It turned out that I was not allowed to drive and that meant a stay at home! (I had to ask them not to plaster it there and then and let me go to Winchester, which is closer to me).
How crap did I feel? I love my freedom and spend a great deal of time in my car travelling around seeing family, friends, etc!
Still 3 weeks later and I have learnt a number of very valuable lessons.
I have rarely asked for help, always dealing with everything life throws at me on my own, making me fiercely independent (hence the reaction to being stuck at home and not being able to drive). I have had to ask for and rely on help in getting backwards and forwards to the hospital, shopping, getting out and about and my friends and work colleagues have been absolutely fantastic. I have always felt unhappy about asking for favours, believing I was putting people out in some way.
During this time, someone said to me that in order for a relationship of any type to thrive there has to be not just giving but ‘taking’ or better still receiving, some sort of reciprocal arrangement. Imagine a bank account, where you only ever took money out to pay your bills, eventually it would go overdrawn and would reach a point where you couldn’t give any more. It needs to have some money coming back in. And so with relationships, in order to be able to give, you do need to receive something back in your emotional, physical, mental or spiritual bank or you end up ‘overdrawn’.
This accident was my way of dealing with being ‘overdrawn’.
Besides, doing things for other people that we love and care about makes us feel good, who am I to deprive them of that feeling!
From now on, I will ask a bit more often and it is a lesson that I will need to continually be reminded of, as changing a habit of a lifetime is not necessarily achieved overnight with help - ah! first reminder of asking for help! I will speak to Wendy and she can do some NLP on me!
So if you are one of life’s givers – beware! In order to continue to do that and maintain healthy relationships, you need to be able to receive too. And if this is something you find hard like me? Then maybe you have something that you believe about yourself that needs changing! Just look at the Relish website for limiting beliefs to see how you can do that easily and painlessly.
Sunday, 13 May 2007
How to Have a Positive Day
Friday was a brilliant day for me and mostly because when I woke up I made up mind it was going to be one!
I am reading a number of personal development books at the moment, looking at the different ways you can make changes to your life, fortune, health and attitude (well in order to encourage others coming to Relish to make changes, I must be prepared to do the same, now mustn't I?).
Anyway, I read that one way to ensure that you have a good day, is from the moment you wake up, to start to think positively about the day ahead. Of course we are only human and this is not always easy, we wake up tired, feeling poorly, or maybe we have a difficult meeting/appointment ahead. Howver, the suggestion is that even when these days happen, it is possible to think differently about how the day will evolve.
One book, in particular, I have read called " ask and it will be given", has some superb techniques that enable you to start to become more positive in your outlook and setting the days intent is just one of the fantastic offerings in this book.
Now, for the practical and cycnical amongst you, this book may seem a little too airy fairy for you, however, there are still some excellent tips which can make a difference. and regardless of how they really work, all you need to do is carry out the tasks with a belief that something will come of it. (and if you are one of these types, just read section 2 of the book, whilst remembering that in order for success, you have to wholly believe what you are doing, at an emotional, mental, and physical level)
So when I woke this morning thinking, I have not slept much (caffeine the previous day kept me awake), I immediately changed my thinking to "I know I have not had much sleep, (best not to pretend I felt any differently, so acknowledged it) however, I will be able to go to bed early tonight to make up for it, and today I am going to have a great day and have a successful meeting". Now all I did was to change my thinking about the way I approached the day, and maybe my day was already going to be great, however, my attitude and approach can only have made it more so.
The mind is a very complex thing and yet it can be controlled. In fact we should be aware that we have the power to choose the thoughts we have, which can have such an effect on our lives. However, don't be put off if the results are not as you expect immediately, this requires some effort, you will need to be prepared to become more aware of what you are thinking, and, where appropriate, change it, if it is not serving you well.
So next time you feel your life is getting the better of you, or that events are out of your control, then stop and change the way you are thinking about it - you might be surprised at the results!
I am reading a number of personal development books at the moment, looking at the different ways you can make changes to your life, fortune, health and attitude (well in order to encourage others coming to Relish to make changes, I must be prepared to do the same, now mustn't I?).
Anyway, I read that one way to ensure that you have a good day, is from the moment you wake up, to start to think positively about the day ahead. Of course we are only human and this is not always easy, we wake up tired, feeling poorly, or maybe we have a difficult meeting/appointment ahead. Howver, the suggestion is that even when these days happen, it is possible to think differently about how the day will evolve.
One book, in particular, I have read called " ask and it will be given", has some superb techniques that enable you to start to become more positive in your outlook and setting the days intent is just one of the fantastic offerings in this book.
Now, for the practical and cycnical amongst you, this book may seem a little too airy fairy for you, however, there are still some excellent tips which can make a difference. and regardless of how they really work, all you need to do is carry out the tasks with a belief that something will come of it. (and if you are one of these types, just read section 2 of the book, whilst remembering that in order for success, you have to wholly believe what you are doing, at an emotional, mental, and physical level)
So when I woke this morning thinking, I have not slept much (caffeine the previous day kept me awake), I immediately changed my thinking to "I know I have not had much sleep, (best not to pretend I felt any differently, so acknowledged it) however, I will be able to go to bed early tonight to make up for it, and today I am going to have a great day and have a successful meeting". Now all I did was to change my thinking about the way I approached the day, and maybe my day was already going to be great, however, my attitude and approach can only have made it more so.
The mind is a very complex thing and yet it can be controlled. In fact we should be aware that we have the power to choose the thoughts we have, which can have such an effect on our lives. However, don't be put off if the results are not as you expect immediately, this requires some effort, you will need to be prepared to become more aware of what you are thinking, and, where appropriate, change it, if it is not serving you well.
So next time you feel your life is getting the better of you, or that events are out of your control, then stop and change the way you are thinking about it - you might be surprised at the results!
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