Showing posts with label motivational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivational. Show all posts

Sunday, 17 June 2007

Life's Lessons - How a broken foot helped me to ask for help!

At the beginning of May, I had the calamity of falling off my flip flop, whilst washing the car and broke my foot! (The fifth metatarsal to be exact!)

Cleaning the car is clearly a dangerous sport and from now on I will get a big strong man to do it for me!!

Actually, I should point out at this stage, that whilst I slipped off my flip flop, which in itself, I am unabashed about, it was the second part of the manouvre that finally did the damage - falling down an embankment and rolling over on the foot! Me being me, I thought what a muppet, and assumed I had just badly bruised/sprained it, and pretended like nothing much had happened – typical me. I am not good with illness or injury. Just ask my family! My poor ex-husband was nearly at death’s door, when I made him walk into A & E, with pernicious anaema, that had him barely able to breathe, let alone walk! Or the time, daughter had fallen off her mini bike in the front room and hit her shoulder, I put cold water on it, expecting just a bruise and it wasn’t until I picked her up and she let out such a scream, that I took her to the hospital, holding her out like an offering, begging them to stop the noise, and it turned out she had a dislocated shoulder and then there was the time….actually this list could go on and on, I am not the best person to be around in the event of any personal physical ailment!

In my defense, I treat myself the same, my typical remedies of hot or cold water, or failing that taking to your bed for a sleep didn’t seem to work. I was in agony!! I couldn't put hardly weight on it, and even had to buy some shoes that allowed me to still go out and look reasonably decent whilst containing my foot, which looked just like an elephants! Being a martyr to the cause (?! Which one is yet to be clarified!) a month later, I was still suffering. It was only when someone made a comment about my foot still looking bad. I finally admitted that I had better get myself off to hospital.

Now not one to make life simple for myself, I went to Frimley Park near where I work in Farnham, half expecting them to send me home with a flea in my ear. Can you believe it I even had my car washed (inside and out) whilst I was there, how ironic is that!

They were fabulous to me, and fortunately I didn’t have to wait too long to have it confirmed I had broken it - No wonder it hurt! It turned out that I was not allowed to drive and that meant a stay at home! (I had to ask them not to plaster it there and then and let me go to Winchester, which is closer to me).

How crap did I feel? I love my freedom and spend a great deal of time in my car travelling around seeing family, friends, etc!

Still 3 weeks later and I have learnt a number of very valuable lessons.

I have rarely asked for help, always dealing with everything life throws at me on my own, making me fiercely independent (hence the reaction to being stuck at home and not being able to drive). I have had to ask for and rely on help in getting backwards and forwards to the hospital, shopping, getting out and about and my friends and work colleagues have been absolutely fantastic. I have always felt unhappy about asking for favours, believing I was putting people out in some way.

During this time, someone said to me that in order for a relationship of any type to thrive there has to be not just giving but ‘taking’ or better still receiving, some sort of reciprocal arrangement. Imagine a bank account, where you only ever took money out to pay your bills, eventually it would go overdrawn and would reach a point where you couldn’t give any more. It needs to have some money coming back in. And so with relationships, in order to be able to give, you do need to receive something back in your emotional, physical, mental or spiritual bank or you end up ‘overdrawn’.

This accident was my way of dealing with being ‘overdrawn’.

Besides, doing things for other people that we love and care about makes us feel good, who am I to deprive them of that feeling!

From now on, I will ask a bit more often and it is a lesson that I will need to continually be reminded of, as changing a habit of a lifetime is not necessarily achieved overnight with help - ah! first reminder of asking for help! I will speak to Wendy and she can do some NLP on me!

So if you are one of life’s givers – beware! In order to continue to do that and maintain healthy relationships, you need to be able to receive too. And if this is something you find hard like me? Then maybe you have something that you believe about yourself that needs changing! Just look at the Relish website for limiting beliefs to see how you can do that easily and painlessly.

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Fun, Fun, Fun!

I have just joined an organisation called Thames Valley Spice and my first outing with them was on Sunday and what a fab introduction it was!

It was a dragon boat race in Evesham.

We were split into teams and the Thames Valley group were then split up by postcode and I was with a great bunch of people! So much so, I am expecting to catch up with some of them again soon

I tell you this because one of the things about being a singleton again, is finding yourself a social life. I for one am very fortunate to have a number of friends, and not so fortunate to have them on my doorstep!

Thames Valley Spice is a great way to meet new people in your area and perhaps to indulge in some activities that you wouldn't otherwise do - activities such as sailing, rally car driving - plus activities that you would - dinner shuffles, theatre, ten pin bowling etc.

And for those of you who are not single? Then rest assured, Thames Valley Spice can still be for you, as over 30% of its members are in coupledom. The key with Spice is creating new friends in a social environment.

My next outing with them will be in a couple of weeks time to a dinner shuffle in Reading, and I am already looking forward to it!

Saturday, 31 March 2007

Relish Launch Guildford Community Event - featuring Getrude Matshe

I was really excited that Relish finally launched into Guildford recently!

The event was one of the best ever yet! Over 30 people attending and the atmosphere was fantastic!

The usual format for our events begins with half an hour of socialising, allowing opportunities to meet and talk with others. The next hour tends to be either a guest speaker or some sort of activity (with content such as games, quizzes or challenges which help us to mix together and also learn something new). Before bringing the meeting to an end and allowing people to ask questions and continue to talk and socialise.

We were really fortunate to have Getrude Matshe, an inspirational and motivational speaker and storyteller from Zimbabwe. She spoke about her life back in Zimbabwe and how fortunate she had been to receive an education, when many women did not. She told us about emigrating to New Zealand and how when she arrived she had nothing.

Her ability to succeed, in times of adversity, were a lesson to us all, and she encouraged us to take every opportunity that came our way, as we could never know where this might lead us.

Certainly, from the conversations I had after the event with some of the audience, it would seem that she inspired a number of people and caused a few others to reflect on what was going on for them.

And this is what our events are all about - inspirational, challenging, thought provoking and motivational, as well as being a friendly and sociable environment to meet new people.

Want to meet new people?
Want to be inspired, motivated, encouraged?

Look here for the nearest Community Event to you